head over feet.

erin cut my bangs yesterday. i thought it was photograph worthy.
















sometimes i like to take pictures of myself making ridiculous faces. don't judge me.

what do you think of my bangs though? i like them. i wanted them like a fine frenzy in the video for the song blow away... i think we got them pretty close.






christmas brought in a good haul. tyler got me a sewing machine. a brand new one! its a janome. and i love it. my mom and dean got me a book on simple pattern making, and a pattern i found online for a dress. its wonderful. my plan was to cut it out today... but i don't have the right kind of fabric... so i sort of got less interested in doing that today. kaetlyn got us a fantastic set of wine glasses. nice and thick so they aren't going to break if you accidentally tap them on anything (i hate that). andrew got me a large pot (which i desperately needed for making chili so it doesn't overflow when i stir it... so annoying) and a cast iron casserole dish. which i don't think many people that i have told about it understand how awesome it is. i cooked our carrots and beets for christmas dinner in it. it was lovely. tyler's parents got me a bread maker and a hand mixer (i have yet to use either... but i am working on it!). rhiannon made me an apron. and on one side she printed it herself. and the other side has a really cool fabric.

all in all... everything is fantastic and very useful. i am well on my way to have a fully equipped house with all the bells and whistles.

tyler got a second wii remote. we've been playing mario kart a lot. its pretty much the only video game i will play... other than rockband. which we also downloaded a bunch of new songs for and have been playing that a bunch too. wow. we've been doing lots of fun things! we downloaded public enemies - it was awesome! and got all caught up on the current season of the office.

i don't work again until the 4th (other than a hockey game on the 2nd). so i have a ton of free time. i have some pattern making blocks that my friend dessy from fashion school in montreal mailed me. i think i will go pick them up today. i'm pretty excited about that. i can make skirts for work! cute ones. designed myself to fit me perfectly... that is if i can jog my own memory on how exactly to make a pattern. agh. i think i can remember.... or have enough stuff still kicking around to make myself remember.

anyway... thats all. its time to get busy!

count of casualty.

i'm listening to a very interesting sounding album. patrick wolf's the bachelor. i like it. i don't really know how to describe it. its good though.

the best part about not being sick anymore, is that i can eat food that tastes good again. my tastes have changed so much in the last bit. i remember dean teasing me and saying that i liked things so bland. and now i am eating the same things i used to eat then because i am sick, and it IS bland. crackers. toast with just butter. soup, but nothing spicy. i guess i shouldn't say i am eating them NOW, because as of yesterday i am back to regular diet. thankfully. i was a boring eater. no wonder i had no interest in cooking.

today is my LAST day at the fare. i'm really excited about it. but a little stressed out. due to illness and having to work at the fare, i still haven't finished my training shifts at sir winstons. and i won't until after christmas. I HAVE RENT TO PAY! AHHH!! oh well. i'm sure everything will work out.

oh yah - genius me doing everything last minute. apparently home alone and home alone 2 are impossible to find at this time of year. sheesh. usually they are in the discount movie bins! i went to walmart, cd plus, zellers, and future shop. no dice. it was a thoroughly frustrating evening. and fruitless at that. its the worst when you go all over the place trying to find something, and still don't find it. a friend of mine is going to kelowna today, he said he would check for me. i hope he can find it. otherwise tyler's stocking may be slightly, very empty. haha. i've never had to totally fill a stocking before. and i'm so bad at getting gifts for tyler at all... its hard. i have no idea what to put in it. i want to have all these fantastic ideas and be totally creative with it... but mostly i got nothing.

i think tonight will be gathering the very last of my christmas shopping, wrapping, and making spring rolls. and tomorrow will be cleaning, grocery shopping, and preparing, followed by party. kaetlyn is being very non committal about the whole thing. i have no idea if she's coming or not. i am basically expecting her to be too cool and shun me like she usually does with family things surrounding me. hopefully nothing is too awkward between the two families. they are NOTHING alike. i think tyler is worried there will be dreadfully awkward silence because no one will have anything to talk about. pretty sure thats why he has avoided it so far. but when his parents came over here for the first time, he said he was so glad his sister and her boyfriend came because they kept the conversation going. as if he thinks it is actually possible that his parents would just sit there with us and say nothing. that no one would converse. he's a funny guy. sheesh.

4 days until all this is over.

bad man's world.

our house is a disaster. tyler and i have spent the last 3 days with a yucky stomach bug. he kicked it yesterday, and my stomach is feeling much better today. so i guess today is clean up day. the house desperately needs it. not to mention, we're having both our families over on wednesday for a potluck. they haven't met. we figured it was about time. plus my mom wouldn't stop bugging me.

i actually have almost all my christmas shopping done! yay! i just have a couple things for dean left. and tyler. i actually haven't gotten tyler anything yet... so i guess that leaves a big gap. agh. hopefully i can get all that done today. i think i have it figured out what i want to get him. shouldn't be TOO hard. i know, that no matter how worked out i have it in my head... it won't be that simple once it comes down to it. agh. i'm taking andrew shopping with me tonight, so it should be alright. today i am finishing up the prep work for my mom's gift - then it just comes down to assembly. haha. i'm very excited for this holiday season to be over. i also think that my fam needs to revamp the way that we do gift exchange. its too much. i have to get SO MANY THINGS! we should just do a draw and get one person something. and stockings. thats it.

i have been listening to even more music that i haven't listened to before. and totally enjoying it. there is so much good stuff out there!! everyone should listen to jenny lewis' album acid tongue. its awesome.

i don't know how much else i actually have to write. everyone else seems to have so much stuff going on that is hilarious to read and fun to think about. i haven't really been doing much? tyler and i went and saw avatar yesterday. it was pretty good. i was still feeling pretty yucky though. i was glad to come home and change back into my sweat pants. we missed both his christmas party, and my nature's fare christmas party (i wasn't sure that i wanted to go anyway) due to being so sick. we have been catching up on season 6 of the office. its awesome. super funny. my friend megan came home today. SUPER stoked for that. i should call her and see what her plans are for this evening... i'm thinking i want to plan a giant jam session party after christmas with all my friends. we have the perfect house for it. cause we can have a drum kit and everything and won't bother anyone with sound. and there is a ton of space. i hope that pans out.

anyway... i'll stop rambling.

shooting star.

another quick one before i go out the door to work.

i work the new job after working at the fare today. like... go straight from the fare to sir winston's. its going to be a really long day. and tomorrow i start work at 7. work till 3:30, and then at 4:30 go to sir winston's. two very very long days. and then again on saturday, 7-3:30. followed by tyler's christmas party for work. yikes. i might be dead after this weekend.

yesterday was pretty awesome. while i was at work tyler came and got the car. got the winter tires put on it, and the brakes looked at. turns out the brakes are fine. the old tires were soooo worn down that tyler threw them out. i figure i thought the brakes were going because the tires had no grip and so i was probably just skidding or whatever a lot. so i am VERY glad to have the winters. it was really hard to drive with the other tires. ALSO... after work we met at the mall. and he bought me some clothes for work. it was exciting. i got some pretty fantastic ankle boots. which i don't usually like... but these ones are awesome. i felt spoiled. i haven't gotten new clothes in such a long time. and i didn't have to pay for these ones! even better. haha.

yesterday was also my very last closing shift at the fare. i HATE closing the deli. it is so stressful. it suuucks. so i was pretty glad to get that out of the way. i was scheduled to close next wednesday too, but i'm having my fam and tyler's fam over for a potluck so natalie said she would take the shift for me. i went to go tell my boss... and never fails, he made it out to be a big day. as mikha pointed out, it was my last day! i could have just not showed up. at least i found someone to cover. and someone who is competent at that. agh. i will NOT miss the boss at the fare.

so... be thinking of me, and wish me luck with my second shift at sir winston's tonight. and again tomorrow. i have to get through training so i can keep my tips and start actually making money! seriously!

the light & the glass.

so the new job is good. its hard. i have to remember all the little steps that i haven't done in a long time. i am nervous that i won't be good enough - its a really busy place. but i am trying to stay positive and think that i CAN! and will. because... if i can't i'm pretty much screwed, considering i quit the fare. my last day is tuesday. its going to be wonderful.

not sure really why i felt like writing something, but i did. i'm just about to go out the door to work. i'm leaving a half hour before work to give myself enough time. the roads are SUPER bad. and i don't have the winters on the car yet. i think tyler is going to do that for me this weekend (i hope so anyway). i have to build an entire new wardrobe for my new job, which makes it more stressful, and we're going shopping to start that tonight. i also haven't started my christmas shopping. although, tyler has gotten some things that are from US so far... so i'm not sitting at the starting line at least for my christmas shopping. i'm worried about it though. i have no idea when i will have time to do it. christmas is next friday. i have just over a week and i work like a maniac for the next bit. agh. i will have to find time i suppose.

grandma and grandpa did show up. and i have a sewing machine for to use for the next bit. i'm pretty excited. lets see what i can create... when i finally have time. which might be never. agh.

time for work!

shadows.

i discovered a new favourite song this morning. its by au revoir simone. the song title is the title above. its so good. i downloaded this group a while ago, and didn't listen to it till this morning. so so so good. its a trio, all girls. keyboards and a bass guitar only. i highly recommend all of you checking them out. you might love them as much as i do.

today is my first day at the new job. and it is going to be a really long and stressful day. first of all, i told my new boss that i only worked until 3:30 at the fare. which i normally do on fridays because usually i open. they never change the regular schedule. BUT one of the girls who usually works on friday is in the myan riviera (i don't even want to think about what shes doing right now. agh) and... it gets a bit confusing here, but i ended up having the 9 to 5:30 shift. and i'm supposed to start at the new job at 4:30. so i got someone to cover the last two hours of my shift today. haha. i didn't really tell the managers, because they were all gone by the time i found out she would cover it. so they are totally going to be angry. but what am i gonna do about it? cancel on my new hopefully fantastic job to stay at the old job so they don't get mad at me? i don't think so.

so yah. i am going to do 6 hours at the fare, and then i was told about 4 hours at the new job, unless its really busy and i need to keep going. oh wow. long day. and then tomorrow i work 7 to 3:30 at the fare, and 6 to 11 at the radio station (operating the hockey game... so boring). so this weekend might kill me. and then sunday is decorating cookies at my mom's, and then suzanne's birthday afternoon potluck thing - that is if i don't have to work the new job on sunday. its all stressing me out a little. and the worst part is... i probably won't make any extra money before christmas. it will all come after. awesome, hey? so... still super broke and pathetic before christmas, and then after... some monies will roll in. agh. STRESS!

but i'm excited. more money. less work. thats the beauty of serving. i'm hoping it will all go wonderfully. the major downside is that tyler and i will now have opposite schedules. so... i probably won't get to spend as much time with him. but the serious upside is that i am hoping i will be able to finally pay off some stuff that has been hanging over my head. that would be fantastic. really fantastic.

anyway... i must finish preparing for job #1.

you picked me.

weird. the song name sort of suits what i wanted to write about. cool. but weird.

so monday didn't go as well as i had planned. i had issues with my resume and getting it printed. so i didn't go and drop off resumes. instead i went home very VERY frustrated and disheartened.

on tuesday night, tyler and i went to bed around 9. i must have drifted off, because tyler says, 'i think your phone just lit up. did someone call you?' i checked it. didn't know the number. tyler says 'maybe its someone calling to give you a job. i said 'thats impossible.' listened to the message. it was the woman calling me again from sir winston's pub. i had really wanted that job. i didn't get it because of my saturday nights at the radio station. i called her back, really excited. she said that she had someone leave for medical reasons, and that left her with a spot open that didn't require me to work saturday nights. but i still get 3-5 shifts a week. i start on friday night.

i was so excited i couldn't sleep for like 2 hours, and was horribly tired all yesterday. but it was worth it. i got to quit, and it felt fantastic. i told my boss it was because i don't feel like i do a good job at all, and all i ever hear is that i'm not doing well enough and i need to do better no matter how hard i try. he defended himself with lame excuses about how he was just trying to avoid me settling in a rut where i felt like my performance was satisfactory and instead just be better. eff that. that is a terrible way to manage your staff. i just shrugged my shoulders and said 'well... that's how i felt. and its really frustrating.'

so that's that.

it should be fantastic.

i hope, anyway.