I'M SORRY!!

i have been so busy. like crazy busy. why is it that my life is always a juggling act? i always think, 'i just have to make it through this week and then next week will be dead' but no matter what the following week is always just about as crammed full as the one before. i am always driving driving driving (i suppose that's what working in two different cities will do to you...). its amazing how much time a drive from vernon to kelowna and back for work will take out of your day.

anyway. where do i start? i have had more than a few of you on my case to write again. so i am writing. i should be doing show prep for my afternoon on the air... but... i am writing.

i'm going to try and just write about the highlights of the last two months.

it was nice coming home from our very long vacation and sleeping in my own bed and having my own clean shower to shower in and all that. but we came home to some not so nice things too. tyler found out that he was jobless. tim shut down his company because construction has slowed down A LOT in the okanagan and there just isn't enough work for him to keep things going. luckily i had a whole ton of work for the first bit and tyler had applied to ei before we even left so we had things all lined up. but it was tight. tyler eventually found a job doing the same thing (he is a sheet metal journeyman) working with his friend matt (who he did all his schooling with through his apprenticeship - matt and his wife are really awesome) for matt's dad. so that was a lot of stress of my shoulders.

my birthday was also two days after we came home from europe. i really wanted new clothes. so i asked for the same thing that we had done for my mom's birthday. everyone contributed some money and then all of us girls went shopping together for some stuff. it was lots of fun AND i finally got some new clothes. i felt like i hadn't gotten anything new in a very very long time. probably because, i hadn't. that's what saving for a wedding and then saving for a 5 week backpacking honeymoon does.

not that things are much different now... now we are saving for an engine rebuild on my car. agh.

so as a result of our backpacking trip and tyler's coming home to no job for a bit... we can't go on the big family trip to mexico. dean is turning 50 in january and the WHOLE family EXCEPT me and tyler is going to mexico. i'm really bummed about it. i don't want to hear about them planning their trip at all. i'm so jealous. i know i shouldn't be because we went to europe for 5 weeks. but it wasn't with my whole family. and now they are all going without me. i feel really left out.

another reason i shouldn't be jealous - i got to go to disneyland december 6th. i was a media rep for sunshine dreamlift. meaning... i got to go to disneyland with 62 severely physically disabled or terminally ill kids from the interior of bc. it was, needless to say, the experience of a lifetime. not only did i get to see disneyland for the first time, but i got to do it with a very cool group of kids. i spent half of my day with a girl who faced some physical disabilities that made it difficult for her to move around (although she faces this with an incredible determination and drive). and the other half of my day i spent with a group of deaf/hard of hearing kids. i had so much fun!!!!!

although... this one day that i went to disneyland for dreamlift was the most hectic day of my life. i had to get up at 3:15 to get to the airport for 4:30 (they put me up at a fancy hotel in kelowna the night before and the night after). and we didn't land that night until midnight. it was a very very very long day. but... as if that wasn't enough, my entire week was hectic like this. i am surprised i made it through alive and without even getting sick.

i have decided i am making all my christmas presents this year. so i have been doing copious amounts of baking and crafting in the last week. with more still to do. we have a measley $15 limit for gifts, and no stockings (because everyone - but me - is going to mexico). and we're doing dinner at mine and tyler's house.

i don't know how many of you have been to my place. so... for christmas dinner it will be me, tyler, my mom, dean, kaetlyn, nadia, andrew, rhiannon, layne, and martha... AND jordi and ollie. my house is really small. and we don't have a kitchen table (nevermind a table that would fit all those people). so... we've been joking about how we're going to have christmas dinner indian style. there will be a lot of eating on the floor. but... it will be cozy and fun.

okay.... so there you have it... an update on my busy-ness. i will try to be updating more regularly (i promise). hopefully this will tie you all over until then...

what is living without really living?

first of all i have to say that i feel very lucky to have been able to take this time off and make this trip. it has been life changing for both tyler and i. i think. at the very least it has been eye opening. i was thinking about this today while i wrote in my journal and listened to jolene do my sunday morning show... most people dont really ever live. i have heard it a thousand times and believed that i knew it as true before, but our north american culture is just filled with stuff. working so hard so we can buy more stuff, pay off stuff, or buy better stuff. and why? to impress everyone else? because you think that having the stuff will make you happy? maybe i sound like every person you have ever met who has gone backpacking who starts preaching about our north american life of excess - but i will not preach. i have decided two things. that i do not want stuff to rule my life. and that i want to really live my own life.

we have 6 days left of our adventure. it has been amazing. in germany i started writing blog entries in my phone on notes... but then i discovered that i couldn't paste them i. so i stopped. sorry for the lack of updates. oh well. im in europe.

so far the greatest things i have seen were paris (which i am in love with, and i think it may have forever stolen my heart) and croatia, specifically hvar (which has got the be the best beach spot i have ever been to... plus the history!). i am both ready and not ready to come home. i miss our cats. and i miss some of the simple comforts of home (tyler has been whining about wanting to take a bath). i am feeling like going to work will be kind of fun. but i just don't want to get lost in the daily grind again. i don't want to be a slave to my life.

tyler and i have spent a lot of time talking and dreaming together about what our future will look like. i think we have some things that we both really like the sounds of. and a lot of work to do to get there. but it's a good type of work. the kind that is really for something.

i'll post more about the things we have seen and done once im home and the keyboard isnt miniature.

bicycles and canals.

amsterdam.

today is day 2. yesterday was mostly just walking around in aa disoriented manner. we walked for what felt like forever. the number of bicycles is just... awesome. the way people drive them is pretty scary. haha. just wherever they want whenever they want.

it seems like a very tourist driven city. could just be the area we're in. anyway... we eventually... but as it turned out the one we had booked at had the same name, but it wasway out of the way. luckily we cancelled that and just stayed at the one we found. the location is great. right in the heart of things. we got two bunks in the corner of a big room and set ourselves up. i pretty much forced tyler to nap. we didnt really sleep on the plane. it was freezing cold and so loud. we probably slept for a good 6 hours. the only thing we didnt pack and wish we did was a towel, haha. so far we've been using a t-shirt to dry off with after the shower. we wandered around a bit. got something to eat. found ourselves smack dab in the middle of the red light district. which is right about when tyler got really overwhelmed and wanted to go back to the hostel.

we had an early night. i woke up at 5 am to the sound of the incredible snoring girl. i swear - the loudest i have ever heard. and of course, in the bunk right next to me. my bladder felt like it was ready to burst so i finally got up the courage to go to the washrooms. i took my key card. of course... it didnt work on our room's inside door... lucky for me after several tries tyler heard me and let me in. it would have really sucked if he didn't.

we started today with free breakfast at the hostel. headed out ready to explore we kind of understood our location better. got coffee and headed out to find anne frank huis. we went through... and i will admit it was hard for me to not cry, especially towards the end. tyler really didn't get that. we got some beautiful postcards to start our collection for wedding thank you's. after that we headed back kinda towards our hostel. we checked out lots of shops and stuff along the way. tyler's parents gave me some money as an early birthday present. i found a store with some really cute stuff... but i couldn't bring myself to actually purchase! its our first stop... i need to scope things out some more i think.

eventually we made our way to madame toussaud's wax museum... which was pretty cool, but ridiculously expensive. i'm glad we went though. i think we've spent all we have to spend on touristy stuff here. now we're hanging out in our hostel... prob have a quick nap, and then maybe grab a beer at a pub and try and meet people. we're kinda shy. i think it's harder to meet people when you're with someone. we miss our friends, and i very much miss my family. most times when i see things i think 'rhiannon would love this' and i think about how much my mom would love to see all these things, i know andrew would be astounded at all the bikes and people riding everywhere, and all the pubs and cafes along the canals remind me of places dean would like to chill out at.

we move on to hamburg tomorrow! i need to find and book a hostel!

save me san francisco!

i have had a very exciting last little bit. i mailed some cd's to the first group of people that gave me addresses... but... i am missing laura and amy's addresses (GET THEM TO ME... or... no cd's).

on thursday i was in kelowna at the Q recording my friday night show, thank q its friday (tqif) and i received an email from my program director in vernon. he asked me if my passport would still be valid in december, and if it was, how would i like to be the station rep for wendy's dreamlift day and go to disneyland. my response was something like this: "seriously? pardon my french, but, FUCK YES!" i told him i had never been to disneyland.

i have ALWAYS wanted to go to disneyland. and the pictures that laura took recently with katie's family... made me insanely jealous. my mom always promised when andrew turned 5, we would all go. well... andrew is 17, almost 18, and still none of us have ever been. i think the only two people who are even remotely interested are rhiannon and me... but i am a child at heart, and i want to see it!!! i think going for wendy's dreamlift day would be an amazing experience. basically what will happen (if i pass the application process and all that - but i can't imagine why i wouldn't) is i will get teamed up with a terminally ill or disabled child, and i will get to spend 6 hours in the disneyland park with them. it is this child's dream to visit disneyland. i think i will make an awesome partner for this kid because... well... its my dream too! and i am excited like a little kid about it... its a win win situation!

i think its really funny that i have spent the first 25 years of my life never traveling anywhere of note... and now in the span of 6 months i am spending a month in europe, going to disneyland (hopefully) AND going with my family to mexico. mexico is a plan for dean's birthday. probably in february or something. i will be a travel virgin no more.

i've been working a ton lately. i'm currently at the q covering an afternoon shift. and i have been going to the farmer's market as much as i can (i skipped monday... for fear of rain that never came - bummer). i've been selling so much stuff at the market. i have been producing new stuff constantly to try and keep up with it. its fun. plus, bethany designed me these REALLY cute business cards that i just picked up today from staples. hopefully that will help get my name out there a little more and get me a few more facebook likes, haha.

tyler and i are hoping to get our backpacks this week. all our flights have been purchased. our rail passes have been ordered. and alison is trying to talk us into paying for a hotel for rome and london. i'm not totally sold on a hotel. she said like $150 a night... and i looked it up for both cities... we can stay in a hostel for like 20 euros each. i don't think it is really worth it. i don't know... maybe i will regret making this decision when it comes down to it... especially considering we are only in those cities for one night each... but... oh well. i think we are going to have to get an adapter so we can charge our ipods on the trip with a wall charger. but i think that is the only thing we have to get... i think... i need to make a list. somewhere that i won't lose it.

i can't believe i am going to europe. its insane.

i can't believe i won't be working for 35 days! that's so long. paying rent while we're gone will be so hard... and we still haven't found someone to stay at our house to take care of the cats while we're gone... that's kind of an issue.

old white lincoln.

i like to think this song is about me. haha. do you ever hear songs like that?




anyway.

tyler got a new modem from shaw cable for free. it is supposed to be way faster. problem is... we can't even get it to connect. tyler fiddled around with it all last night trying to get it to work. and he tried calling shaw this morning to get them to figure it out... but he was put on hold, and had to go to work. i tried getting it to work when i got up... to no avail. and back in went the old modem. i don't even care. i just want to actually get online!! sheesh.

i have been devouring cherries the last 2 weeks. i got some from the farmer's market from a certified organic farm in oyama... and oh my they are delicious. so dark red they are just about black, big and juicy. so delicious. they could make any bad day just melt away.

speaking of bad days... i have been having some of those thanks to work. i've been extremely frustrated. not really worth getting into... but the jist of it is that i feel excluded from, well, everything. i'm just like the person who comes in to fill in for things while everyone else is included in big important things that the station does. i think it is time to start putting together my demo and looking around for what is out there. find out what kind of job i can even get. i saw one online yesterday that was for afternoons/music director. which is basically my dream job... but it was in peterborough, ontario. which, in case you were wondering, is NOT my dream location. haha. i really hope i can find something in a good location where i will want to stay. most people when they go to school for radio, get out of school and work in the worst locations. like tiny tiny towns in saskatchewan, or manitoba, or alberta... or, worst of all, prince george. i do NOT want to live in prince george.

aside from all that... i have been making feather goodies like a villain. i've been doing the farmer's market. the last two mondays i made over $200. which i can't really complain about. this monday i wore a tube top to try and minimize the tan lines i would get from sitting out there for 4 hours. not such a brilliant idea. it wouldn't have been so bad if the sun was behind me... but it was in front of me. i have a very straight line tan line across my chest. haha. i guess i'll just have to go to the beach more to get rid of it! darn. haha.

i am preparing madly for my trip to europe. trying to scrape together the last of our money. the farmer's market has helped with that... giving us money to live on. haha. we still need to buy backpacks. tyler has been seriously hounding me about needing a new camera. and it's true... our camera is not that great. but he wants to buy a big slr. which... are a) expensive and b) don't you think its a little dangerous to be backpacking with one of those? PLUS... neither of us know how to use one. neither of us are fantastic photographers. i think our camera will just have to suffice.

annnnnd... i have made the best mix that i have been listening to solid for the last few weeks. i am going to mail doug a copy of my july playlist (2 cd's) and this other mix i have been listening to... which i guess could very well be august... anyone else want copies? send me your address!!!

je pense que je t'adore.

funny enough... this is a line from a glass tiger song. maybe some of you know that. i don't know.

i am eating a big bag of cherries at work. i didn't bring anything else to eat. so far this is not really helping. i think i am going to have to make tyler bring me some breakfast at work.

i am EXHAUSTED. i was in kelowna allllllllll day yesterday. tyler's friends colby and nelson were visiting us from vancouver. yesterday morning we all got up, squished into the truck, and left for kelowna by 7:30. i like to be at the station in kelowna at 8:30 ish. and it is on the far end of the city... so it actually takes a full hour to drive there. i worked till 5, while the three of them hung out (colby grew up in kelowna). i was a little jealous. they went to the beach. i worked. it sucked a little bit.

after i finished we hung around kelowna some more. ate some food. and then hung out in the park and people watched until it was time for redfish to play. bc day long weekend is center of gravity in kelowna - an awful festival. "bro's" and scantily clad bleached blonde haired girls with pounds of make up invade the city and get grossly intoxicated and then party to the sounds of various dj's. we saw lots of beer get dumped. lots and lots and lots of board shorts, and more midriff than i ever wanted to see in my life. i had NO IDEA it was considering socially acceptable to walk around downtown (NOT on the lake front) to walk around in just a bikini. like, really? gross.

we met up with sarah and adriel and bethany just as redfish got on the stage to start their set up. adriel was pretty excited to see uncle dean play. we also spotted layne, and all picked a spot on the grass centered pretty good in front of the stage. adriel and i went up close to the stage to take some pictures with my phone. hah, unfortunately the best place to take them from was right in front of the speakers... it was really loud. i joked to sarah about ruining her child's hearing. some cocky "bro's" while making their way from center of gravity walked through the middle of the stage while the band was playing. like... why is that necessary? or cool even? i don't get it? oh kelowna... why do you attract these people for the summers?

needless to say... it was a late night. and i grumbled as i got out of bed at 5:10 this morning, and fought to keep my eyes open. i'm still sooooo tiiiirrreedddd.

i have been stumbling upon all morning. what is that, you say? only the best thing i have discovered in a long time. check out stumbleupon.com. you can sign in with your facebook id. and then you just click the boxes on your interests... and you stumble your interests. it pulls up all kinds of websites that correspond with the interests you gave it. i have found scores of good recipes (most of them delicious looking desserts...)... i actually can't even begin to tell you about all the cool things i have found. just try it out! you won't be disappointed.

rolling in the deep.

today is a blah day. it is raining. and not very warm out. but i wore shorts anyway in hopes of it being nicer. no such luck.

also tyler and i are BROKE. which is a big bummer. and i am stressing about trying to save money. we have had to use some of what we had saved from this last paycheque to catch up on some bills post wedding and stuff. now we have another week until we get paid again. i am trying to come up with a way to make some more money... but really... how can i work any more than i already am?

its just really frustrating. we have to come up with a good deal more than we have before september. i know we can do it... its just hard. i need to make sure i can work as much as i am (or close to) right now in august as well. keep it steady. i think that might be hard. i know there will be some shifts for me here at the station. but i doubt it will be the entire month solid. and there is no vacation happening in august in kelowna. i think i am going to spend this evening making earrings so i can stop in blackbird sometime very soon. i haven't felt the inspiration to do that... probably because i got all tapped out on my crafting creativity from the wedding. but it is time to tap in again, i think.

i should try and make some veils like mine and sell them on etsy or something. haha. those things are going for like $300 on there! being the primary reason i didn't buy one...

i'm sure everything will work out and we'll go on our trip and it will be fine... i just stress out about things. that's what i do.

kiss on my list.

today is my mom's birthday! woo! i can't write on here about the great birthday gift idea that kaetlyn and i came up with... but i think it is a really good one.

tyler and i talked to the travel agent yesterday. it was very informative. we made some adjustments to our plans. we had originally planned to fly in to london (because alison said before you can usually get cheap flights there) and then take the chunnel over and go to paris and go from there... well... turns out it is way cheaper to fly in to amsterdam. well... from what we saw yesterday. amsterdam wasn't even really in our plans. but... it does look like a pretty cool place. so we're going to check it out. because... honestly... we'll go wherever we can get a cheap flight from! we realized we are going to be in germany for oktoberfest (tyler was pretty excited) and so added munich to our list of places to go and see. right now we have on our itinerary amsterdam, hamburg, berlin, munich, paris, nice, venice, some seaside towns in croatia, and then probably over to rome. and then we will probably catch a flight from rome back to amsterdam and fly home from there. turns out great britain would add A LOT to our cost, and... i feel like great britain is a whole other trip on its own. england, scotland, and ireland. there's a lot to see there...

i am REALLY excited about the trip, but i know money is going to be tight. we have to come up with enough to pay our rent here, insurance, truck payment, bills... all that good stuff. PLUS our food and accomodations for europe... and some fun money too. it is looking like i am going to keep working lots through august at the station here in vernon. and maybe maybe i can pick up some shifts in kelowna too. i don't know... but i will take whatever i can get! i need to go talk to the guy at the vintage/alternative jewelery store here in vernon - he had some interest in carrying some of my stuff.

i am wearing my piece that jasmine made to go with my veil for the wedding... and i have gotten so many compliments on it already. i think i will make some things like that too. anything i can make some money on this summer is worth a shot i think.

i have gone scissor happy on some of my old t-shirts. lots of them are band t-shirts i used to wear when i was like 19 or 20. most of them are men's smalls. the sleeves are always gigantic... but i used to wear them anyway. i wanted a tank top the other day, and i decided to cut a shirt... i LOVE it. so comfy. and it brought new life to the shirt that i otherwise never wore... so then i started digging through old stuff and found a couple more... now i have a whole collection of old t-shirts that i have given new life by cutting into tanks, and a whole bunch of new tanks for the summer! pretty impressed with myself, actually. i cut the sides really big, and i wear a bandeau under them. makes it even cooler. nice and airy.

... sadly i'm at work and i should, gasp, work.

home is a fire.

i'm at home today! this is the first track on the new death cab for cutie album. its awesome. i highly recommend it to all of you.

i went back to bootcamp for the first time since the wedding! it was soooooooo hot! wow. but i feel really good now. i'm really glad i went. i have been making excuses and putting it off for the last bit. i actually woke up late this morning, but i said... well if its at the multiplex i will get up and make myself go (the multiplex is only around the corner from here basically). and sure enough... it was at the multiplex. i did it! its amazing how hot it is at 8 am already... wow. the forcasted high for today is 32 though. so i guess it makes sense.

i still haven't showered. sometimes after bootcamp i come home, sit down in front of the computer and i can't make myself get up and do ANYTHING. i'm just so tired.

i got to go out on chelsea's boat last night. it wasn't until later in the evening... but it was still so nice out. we went swimming. it was a pontoon boat... so it was mostly for hanging out. i like that. speed boats go so fast, and everything blows everywhere... not so fun. apparently the pontoon boat uses way way way less gas too. but it doesn't really go fast enough to pull anything behind it in an exciting manner. oh well. it is perfect for hanging out and swimming off of. we had a great time. brodie and dan came too. but i have been feeling self conscious in a bathing suit lately... my eating habits since the wedding have been AWFUL... and i haven't been to bootcamp. so this week i have been trying to right all those things so i can wear my bathing suit with pride. i'll get back there. i was there for the wedding... i felt great that day.

i don't really have anything all that interesting to write about. so... i should probably go and shower and get ready for work.

ahead by a century.

i was talking to doug last night, and i realized something.

this summer has been really awesome for me. i have had so much fun hanging out with my cousins. getting to know them. but it is more than just that. i grew up without family like that. i didn't have cousins or aunts and uncles. it was lonely. especially when we moved around and i was homeschooled. i always envied my friends who had cousins that they were really close with and who they had spent their entire lives with. i didn't have that.

since reuniting with our extended family i have definitely felt like an outsider. i'm a lot older than all my cousins. most of them are so shy with me because i am so much older than them. and they don't know me. because i haven't been around. we don't live close. and i usually hang out with the adults anyway. but i don't really fit in with the adults either. i didn't grow up in the same household. i have sort of felt like i was in this weird limbo place. i have definitely made some effort to get to know people and be a part of something (this blog for one) and it has slowly changed and improved. but i never really felt like i fit in. or like i could completely be myself... because... well the whole religious thing is a big difference. or i worried it was, anyway.

this summer a lot of those worries and weird feelings have gone away. it is a really good feeling for me. the realization of how hard everyone worked and cared. and it was my day. the way everything happened... the whole production of my wedding and the parts that absolutely everyone played... i could just feel how much i was loved. it was my belief that a wedding is really about love. the love between two people. but i learned that it was so much more than that. it was the love shared by family and friends. it was amazing.

the party afterwards, i was honoured to be followed around by a group of my little girl cousins. all wanting a turn to dance with me, and when i agreed to dance with one, they would pull in all the other ones and it was a big circle. the way they looked at me and smiled at me. it was really cool. it was a very special feeling. all of my aunts and uncles who worked tirelessly for the days leading up to, and continuously on the day of. your love made my special day possible. it made all the magic happen. the magic of my wedding was love, and it came from everywhere. i couldn't help but smile from start to finish. i was riding the high of the most powerful energy i may have ever felt.

so... that is what my thank you is for. thank you for making me feel like a part of something. this summer has brought me to feel like i am really a part of this family. i do belong. even if there are differences... there is still a place for me. that is what i have wanted to feel.

the weeks following with caleb and zach visiting have been so much fun. we spent so many days hanging out the group of us. just laughing and having fun. everyone helping each other. zach or andrew helping rhiannon climb down steep cliffs and reassuring her she could do it and they would help (normally she would just get really upset and ruin it for everyone else). and rhiannon having fun and going along with what other people were into although i know it wasn't her favourite. i can't really explain what it has been like... but there are things that link all of us. we share common interests with each other. we have enjoyed each other's company. we all have the same sarcastic sense of humour. we tease each other. and then of course... the fact that everyone (aside from me... of course) has a similar look about them. its fun.

i am so glad to be a part of this family. and i enjoy every one of you. i look forward to getting the chance to spend more time with everybody and getting to know everyone and being a part of their lives. thanks for giving me that.

hollywood.

i'm working all week covering for vacation. and next week too. this week in vernon, and next week in kelowna. and of course the weekends are split between both stations. its busy busy for me.

the summer heat has finally arrived. the next two days are supposed to be 30+. i am KIND OF looking forward to it... but i know my house is going to get sooooo hot and uncomfortable. but when it is that hot... and i only work until 2... it makes it perfect for BEACH TIMES! the plan for after work today already includes picking up zach and going to the beach for a bit. and of course... bootcamp this evening. woo! i am going to sweat buckets. i haven't been to bootcamp since before the wedding though... like a week and a half before the wedding. and i have had the WORST eating habits for the last couple of weeks as well... not liking it. need to work on my beach bod. haha.

i guess i should write about the wedding... i don't really know what to say. it was such a whirlwind for me. none of it would have been possible if not for some really amazing friends and family. i had some definite freak out moments. things definitely seemed like much bigger problems than they actually ended up being. i know i made my mom really mad at me a few times... and i was pretty mean to her. katie was constantly reassuring me that things were going to work out and it was going to be fine. brent fixed some big problems (including the tarp disaster... that we didn't actually end up needing). that was a big one. tyler was having a fit about that because he had no idea how it was going to work and he had given up. i'm also not a tarp master. but they were put up. and once the lights and everything were added to them... it looked perfect and magical.

my bridesmaids worked their butts off. dealing with my stress and bad attitude. and fixing an abundance of little problems i had. jasmine made all the little feather pieces for hair and boutenirs or whatever you call those things? for the guys. and she made my lovely feather hair piece with all the pearls. they were all fantastic. there were so many little things that i didn't have time to finish up... things that weren't actually that hard to do, and didn't take that long... but i was more or less a chicken with its head cut off. dessy of course worked like a horse for the entire 10 days she was here, more or less. i felt a little bad because she ended up doing what i was supposed to do with the dresses (but they turned out far better than i could have made them... thanfully). she also made my veil the night before. and she arranged all the flowers the morning of. i remember bethany saying something about how she didn't know how she expected to be able to do the decorating herself... well those were things that i expected to do that looking back... what was i thinking? of course i wasn't going to have time to arrange flowers the morning of.

hair and make up, as i expected, took longer than planned. i was basically being poked and proded for about 4 hours straight. but that's how it is supposed to be... right? it came down to a real crunch to get everyone finished in time though... and again i had a panic. i was like okay... seriously... we have a half hour and we need to LEAVE. people didn't seem to grasp the urgency of that. haha. but we made it out on time. we weren't late. and everyone looked fantastic. funny enough... andrew was the one holding up the ceremony... he changed VERY quickly. i laced up his shoes for him while he was putting on his vest and bow tie or something. it was a team effort the whole way.

there were a few logistics that i didn't think through... like... once our hands were tied together it was going to be very hard to do rings and sign the paperwork and all that... but oh well. i thought it was nice. of course... the marriage commissioner was pretty awful... and screwed up BOTH of our names... but its a good story, right? haha. i laughed it off.

then we did photos before dinner. i thought that was a lot of fun. i wish that i had got more photos with certain people. and i wish that there had been some photos of tyler with the girls, and me with the boys... but oh well. there are some whole group shots that will be good. i am DYING of impatience to see the rest of them. it is seriously killing me. haha.

there was another incident with the dinner and place cards and all that... as in i was missing some. buuut... again... catastrophe averted... and it wasn't really as big of a deal as i was making of it and everyone was fine and got their food. the food was amazing. it was laid back and enjoyable.

the rest was the best party of my life. seriously. i had the best time EVER. it was perfect. my ONLY complaint is that someone put their own ipod on and played a kesha song. the WORST. but i survived. and the party continued.

i think probably the biggest highlight for me was getting to sing... with a full band... and the way everyone got into it. that was exhilerating. so good. i want to do it again. anyone want to find me a band?

alone again.

i'm at work. this song is actually awful. but the name is kind of appropriate. maybe not what you would expect to hear from someone who just got married... but... i am referring to all of my house guests. it is nice to have the house to ourselves again. i don't think i am quite ready to blog about the wedding and what it was like. i think pretty much all of you know that it is a whirlwind and everything is over so quickly. so much work. and it is over so fast. but... it was the party of a lifetime. by far, the best party i have ever been to. everything was perfect. and i know it was a lot of hard work by a lot of who care very much about me (i don't think i could ever say enough to show my appreciation).

dessy left on tuesday. and when i woke up wednesday morning it was the WEIRDEST feeling to just lay there in bed and not feel like i had to get up and get a million things done or drive everywhere or take everyone everywhere. i just took a deep breath and layed there for a while. it was wonderful. although... it is strange in my head to not be worrying and thinking about so many things and planning everything that i have to get done. its nice. but weird. although... my house was the biggest mess EVER. seriously.

before gill left on sunday (while tyler and i were at my mom's to clean up there and open gifts) gill actually tidied up our living room and did all the dishes (which made it WAY LESS overwhelming to come home to). i wasn't expecting that. and it was fantastically amazing. on monday i drove jasmine home to vancouver. there and back in one day. i didn't get home till 11:30. i was exhausted. tuesday i woke up and was told about dessy and shelby's itinerary for the morning before she had to go to kelowna to get on her flight home. they wouldn't have been able to get it all done without me and my golf. so... i complied and helped them out. breakfast. and a few other stops. she still didn't get everything done. and as everyone left town... the sun finally came out and it warmed up. i spent tuesday afternoon with caleb and rhiannon and zach at the beach. it was nice.

wednesday life kind of went back to normal... with a big clean up... which we still haven't finished. i got so many awesome things at the bridal shower... but... i do NOT have the kitchen space to put everything away. i am still trying to shuffle everything around and figure out what i can get rid of to make room. its hard. i have such a tiny kitchen. there are lots of things i don't use regularly... but... that's because i hate cooking in my kitchen. i love my small kitchen appliances and gadgets, they are just a bit of a pain in the ass to use in my kitchen. there isn't enough counter space, and then they take up so much space to try and clean... the whole thing is just a process.

there is also one gift that there was no card for? we are still trying to figure out who it is from. it was like a woven looking black tray thing filled with some things wrapped in coloured tissue paper (a plate, 2 mugs, soap and lotion, and a couple of wall hangings... and a bottle of wine). if anyone knows who it was from...? help me out?

and now that all that is over... saturday started 36 consecutive days of work. i work every single day of july. no breaks. but i am not complaining! we need to save like another $6000 for our honeymoon. but it is looking like a go! we can make it all work. EUROPE IS HAPPENING!

to the sea.

my days are withering away.

yesterday was a write off basically. zach is here visiting layne. but layne still has to work. so yesterday i went to bootcamp in the morning (so i guess the day wasn't a total write off...) and then after i showered and got ready, i drove to kelowna to pick up zach. we went to the mall in kelowna to get him a new canucks hat (a necessity, as it was pretty much impossible to replace it in utah). then we drove back to vernon, and picked up rhiannon and andrew and headed to the beach. it was beautiful yesterday and it was my first time going to the beach to swim this year. we went down to my favourite beach, and then hiked over to where there are some small cliffs to jump off and some warm rocks to hang out on. we found this AWESOME spot complete with a floating dock that was anchored to the rocks. rhiannon and i hung out on the floating dock. andrew and zach did some cliff jumping. i took pictures of them. they will be on facebook.

at 2 we had to go back to my mom's because she had to pick up a lamb that she took to the vet, and, for some reason, couldn't drive the car AND hang on to the lamb at the same time. andrew took off when we got back, and zach went to help my mom with the lamb. my friend austin was there working on the pathway for us (yay austin!). i went home to make something to eat before i had to drive zach back to kelowna. i drove him back just in time to watch the hockey game with layne, and i made my way back home. i did my voice tracking for last night AND tonight (woo!) and then i went home too. i was really tired. wiped out from the sun no doubt. my shoulders even looked a little red (all gone now though). my freckles are officially out in full force. i like my freckles. they're cute.

so i was supposed to be washing windows today, but the big job rescheduled. instead i am going to meetings at the radio station, and then going to get zach again to do more hanging out. but today's hanging out needs to include some things that i have to do for wedding prep unfortunately. i wish i could just do more fun hanging out. but... the weather isn't that great today anyway... so... that makes it easier to do things i need to do anyway. my friend dessy who made my dress is getting here at 6 this evening. so i will take zach back when i go pick her up from the airport. friday i am going to vancouver after working in kelowna to pick up jasmine and bring her here. we have to leave vancouver at like 6 am saturday morning because i got offered a remote for saturday afternoon. a remote is an on location. and i get paid the big bucks to do that. i just couldn't turn it down... especially considering how broke i am right now because of everything i have to pay for. except i just realized i won't even get paid for it until after the wedding... bummer.

do any of you have white twinkly lights you could let us use for the wedding? i promise they will get back to you and in the same condition. thank you. that is all.

early mornings.

i was reminded yesterday when i came in to the station to voicetrack that i had to operate the morning show this morning. agh. i HATE getting up at 4:30 to be here at 5. its the worst. and my neck hurts...

the only redeeming part of this morning is... i have grapes! and they are a delicious snack.

yesterday my mom and i went to karen's and dug up some flowers and things in her yard. it was awesome. we got more than $100 worth of stuff for FREE. i love free stuff. i got a whole bunch of day lilies, which i filled the front flower bed with. everyone (karen and penny) keeps telling me to just water them a TON and they just might bloom. i'm not getting my hopes up. but the greenery looks nice. there are a bunch of buds on the irises around the yard though. and TONS of peonies. i think i already wrote that.... there are also a whole bunch of buds on the poppy in the side bed. those are my favourite flowers in the yard. they are so pretty. i really hope they bloom for the wedding.

the patio is completely finished. and the pathway is over halfway. we're getting closer and closer! i will take some more pictures today when i go over there of all the new flowers and green things we planted yesterday. i planted some day lilies in the giant rotting stump in the front of the house. tyler put a bunch of dirt in it. and i want to fill it with flowers. but... i realized i will need some more flowers to do that. haha. it seems we have a never ending need for flowers. there are two more beds on the side of the house that is facing the road that still need to be weeded and have a couple of things added. tyler has his next project lined up - building some benches and creating a seating area. and i think my next yard project after we're finished with all the projects is going to be getting some burlap and painting it. i want to make one outdoor rug for the "seating area" because the spot we want to put that in doesn't really have any grass... just dandelions. haha. and i want to make a backdrop for the "stage" out of burlap with a painted design on it. and then another one for the porch too... because the plan is to set up like a photobooth on the porch for people to take polaroids of themselves for our guestbook.... IF we can get a polaroid camera and film. that is still up in the air a little bit... i might try and get that done this week so we know if it is going to happen or not.

and... the dresses have taken a back seat for the moment. i got to a point where i knew gill's dress wasn't going to fit, and my mom said it was better to just leave it and alter it when she gets here so it fits her. dessy arrives a week from yesterday (so excited!!!) and so i will have help with them then. i really hope that they get done and look good... i don't know what to do otherwise... that makes me nervous.

and that's how things are going... i am covered in mosquito bites from my mom's yard. we have to get some tiki torches for the wedding so everyone doesn't get eaten alive... but... other than that i think that the yard is coming along swimmingly. haha.

don't worry.

tyler and i got some good work done on the pathway yesterday. and he feels better about it because brodie and brady thought it looked cool (that was a big 'told you so' moment for me, haha). he was too stuck in the mindset of what he was SUPPOSED to do with the bricks. oh well. i think it is looking really good. plus him and my mom took a chisel and broke one kind of slabs that we weren't going to use, and made hearts! its pretty cool. they look really nice in the pathway. a nice little surprise when you look down i guess. i think we might actually make it the whole way to the porch... and cover the big bald spot where no grass will EVER grow.

brodie mowed the lawn yesterday. its amazing how much of a difference that makes. it looks a hundred times better. it actually looks like a decent lawn. we just need a weed wacker to get around the edges of the flower beds and make it look really polished and lovely.

of all the lilies and irises that i planted last year... very few of them are actually going to bloom. it has been a big disappointment for me. the greenery looks nice... but i wanted COLOUR! we have had to buy big expensive developed plants to actually have any blooms. but i think we will have a few nice flowers for the actual wedding (please don't bloom too soon or too late!). its such a hit or miss thing with planning an outdoor wedding. you just can't rely on the weather. it has been so cold this spring that the lilacs are in bloom right now... usually they have already come and gone by now.

so... i guess the only update is that the yard is looking so good. i will take some photos when we are there today. i am hoping we can get another substantial chunk of the pathway done today. i want to get it done through the week and be finished with it. then the only building we have left is the shed... which i don't think is actually going to happen. i also have some bad news... the cake lady bailed. she gave me the name of someone else i could contact... but... i don't think i am going to. i might be able to get a good deal from a woman in kelowna that the station there deals with for promos and stuff. i am waiting to hear back on that... but if that doesn't work out, i have decided not to stress about it and just not have a cake. i talked to my friend natalie who is going to be making us the desserts for the dessert buffet, and if it comes down to it... she will make us a chiffon cake and decorate it pretty, and we will put our cake topper on that... but... it won't be the whole traditional cake deal. just a regular sized cake and a dessert buffet (which is going to be delicious, by the way).

i'm not stuck on all the things you're "supposed" to do for weddings. sometimes i forget that we don't have to do all those things. so... if it doesn't work out, thats okay. and i doubt anyone will miss it. wedding cakes are usually sub par anyway.

rolling in the deep.

so work on the yard and everything else is still in high gear. many many many flowers have been planted over the last week. and work on the pathway to the porch has started... i don't know if we have enough brick to make it the whole way... but... we'll go as far as we can. so far so good. i had to start it WITH tyler so he knew what i meant. he was stuck in the brick laying mindset that austin got him stuck in. that is not what we wanted in the first place. oh well. the big part looks great... and the pathway will be like a mosaic leading up to it. so far i think it looks great. i think i got about 2 feet of it done. haha. tyler is supposed to continue working on that today.

he thought my idea of how to do it was going to look awful... and then he filled in all the cracks of our first little bit with sand and even he had to admit it looked pretty cool. i am excited for it to be done.

my mom and i have been spending small fortunes on flowers lately. but we have several hanging baskets filled with lovely purples and pinks and whites. and i filled the 4 big flower pots that were painted last week. they look awesome.

the dresses have been less of a success. my mom helped me come to the conclusion that they can't be finished till the last minute. the patterns SUCK and i need them here so i can make the dresses fit. so... i am going to get them all started, and pieced together to the point where i can alter them and do the final assembly of the dresses when the girls are finally here. in the meantime, i can do rhiannon and megan's dresses. i am HOPING that dessy will help with my sewing endeaver. i feel pretty confident that she will.

also... my house has FILLED up. haha. the week before the wedding there will be 4 or 5 people staying with tyler and i. for those of you who haven't seen our place (well... probably everyone reading this minus my mother) it is SMALL. well laid out (aside from the much too small kitchen) and it has two levels, which i really enjoy... but it is small nonetheless. we will have dessy in the spare room with the sewing stuff. and then the living room will be 2 people sleeping on the couch, and two people on an air mattress... it will be one giant slumber party. tyler and 6 girls. HAHA.

i made a pretty delicious quinoa salad. really easy too. i cooked red quinoa, let it cool completely, cut up some cucumber and red pepper and avocado, and mixed it all in with some little creek dressing. SO GOOD. it would be just a little bit better if i could have found some fresh basil to cut up and add. but... i couldn't. and it was a last minute shopping thing when i got the veggies. i am trying to really watch what i eat for the next couple of weeks and snack on good things. basically i am going to eat soooo much quinoa. haha. but its cool because you can eat it with so many things, and its so good for you. there are endless delicious quinoa options. have i mentioned i love quinoa?

i went back to bootcamp this week on wednesday and friday. it was really hard. after being sick all the week before... my body just hasn't fully recovered. i am SO sore. and everything was so hard. i am hoping that this week will be easier... and i maybe i can even make enough time to throw a couple of runs in this week too. that would be AWESOME. i am finding that all my yardwork has contributed to sore body too though... brick lifting, and weed pulling.

bike to work week this week! i'm excited! if only it was a possibility to bike to work in kelowna... haha... but that would take me like all day... and i would NEVER want to bike home.

something to talk about.

look at me and 3 days in a row! haha. thanks to work... i have time to sit and write for a moment.

so... flower pots still aren't totally finished, but i am going to plant them tonight anyway. jordi said she would still come and work on them once they were planted if need be. i took mine home last night because jordi and ben were falling asleep on the couch while i was still painting (oops). i stayed up till about 1:30 watching friends and painting. i love friends. i just started season 6 last night. tyler and i decided that if we had to say we were most like a character on friends, i would be monica and he would be chandler. megan would be phoebe. tyler's friend kevin would be joey. other tyler would be ross. and i don't think we have a rachel... maybe erin. actually, i think erin is a good fit for rachel.

anyway... the flower pot i have been painting doesn't look that bad, i think. bethany, i think you might even give me a pat on the back for it. i am pretty proud of it, if you must know. although... it looks much more 60's/70's psychedelic than 50's vintage. but oh well. the colours are right, and i think the set of 4 of them look pretty cool. jordi started painting this really really cool looking peacock on one of them last night. i am really excited to see what it looks like when she is finished. it blows my mind how good she is... every time. i should just stop being surprised and expect it from her. she's so talented.

we met the cake lady yesterday! it went great. the price she gave us is under what i was thinking would be a decent price... so... that's awesome! and talking to her about what i wanted... we were on the same page. she brought me and tyler some goodies, and they were delish. suzanne was there too to help with some suggestions and whatever (and she had a really good one). we were talking buttercream icing, fresh strawberries, pureed strawberries to make a strawberry cake layer... and all kinds of delicious things. i am really really glad that is all out of the way. she is going to make us some samples this week, and then i just have to put a deposit down. woo!

tonight is a bbq at my mom's. i don't know for sure, but i think it is kind of a birthday bbq for layne. should be fun. brady and suzanne are going to come too (because tyler and i had plans with them before we found out about the bbq... and brady and suzanne are great) and andrew's girlfriend chelle is there too apparently. i don't really know her.

this week will consist of lots and lots of sewing, and maybe a few breaks from that to weed flower beds. haha. the yard is actually looking really nice. tyler is having a hard time feeling motivated to finish up the patio (and it's so close!) because there are gaps, and he feels like it doesn't look very good. but really... it looks awesome and he shouldn't feel bummed out about it. he has worked really really hard on it.

things to acquire over the next 2 weeks are white tarps, draping fabric, white twinkle lights... and i think that is enough. i'll probably add more things to that list. oooh... i need to make the hair bands for the flower girls and find better netting for my birdcage veil and make that. jordi and i tried with what i have... and it didn't work very well. so i am going to use that for making a skirt for one of the girls in my dance class instead. i think it will work better for that.

anyway... i should get back to, you know, working... seeing as i am being paid to do that and all.

don't let the sun go down on me.

so last night wasn't quite as productive as i hoped it would be... well... it was productive... it just took a hell of a lot longer than i thought it would.

jordi got a background painted on one flower pot... although i don't know that anything else will actually be painted over it. it looks pretty good as it is. she painted this light greeny browny flowery pattern all over it... and when i saw what she was doing i was like "i can do that..." and so i started painting one with light purple. it didn't look THAT bad. everyone told me it looked good... although i don't totally buy it. but it didn't look awful. it was abstract... so was jordi's... and sometimes i can do abstract. but i got like... a quarter of my flower pot done. ben did a metallic green triangle pattern on another one. and tyler insisted he was the entertainment and didn't paint a pot. haha. he wasn't all that entertaining either though - unless you think listening to harry potter dubstep remix on his phone is entertaining?

so today the cake lady is coming over after i'm done work. i am nervous and excited. haha. bummed that she isn't bringing samples for us to try today. haha. i am nervous that it is going to be way more than we can afford... if that happens... i think i will say screw it and not have a traditional-like fancy cake and just get someone to make a whole lot of regular cake that tastes delicious and call it wedding cake... whatever. it doesn't REALLY matter that much to me. i think i threw tradition out the window a long long time ago.

no sewing happened last night, because flower pots took us till about 11:30 and then i had to go to bed - because i arrived at work this morning at 5:30 as per usual. tyler and i did manage to flash clean our house because originally we thought jordi and ben would be coming over to our place (and 1 year old ollie too...) but then it was ollie's bed time by the time we started and so we went over to their place instead. but... i got a big load of dishes done (it was once again, ridiculous) and tyler vacuumed the house and put things away from the living room... it lookes a hundred times better than it did before. and now the cake lady is coming over today, and i don't need to freak out about a messy house when i get home from work. that's nice.

... of course there is always the laundry... agh.

born this way.

i'm at work... and while i really DON'T enjoy lady gaga... this song is the first pop song in a long time to have such a positive message. and i can get behind that.

this week has been a write off for me and getting anything done. i got really sick on tuesday and after that i mostly just hung around the house and felt awful. first it was a sore throat and achey feeling... followed by some serious congestion. and i was so careful to avoid ALL DAIRY as soon as i felt like i was getting sick. i hate being congested to the point where you can't hear things people are saying to you. its sooo annoying.

but today i am feeling a lot better... good thing i am stuck at work all day, right? haha. next week is the last week of dance classes - luckily i managed to finish the choreography with both of my classes this week so next week will just be practice practice practice. and then the following week we will have a dress rehearsal and performance! woo! and then... NO MORE DANCE CLASSES UNTIL THE FALL!.. what a relief. don't get me wrong, i have enjoyed doing them very much (both my classes are awesome girls), but it will just be one less thing on my plate and that is always good.

so i have set tentative dates for our honeymoon. sept 5 to oct 10. just over a month. i don't know WHY i picked those dates... they just sounded like good ones. haha.

tonight's goal is getting the flower pots that i bought painted so i can fill them with flowers. my neighbour jordi was supposed to help me... but i don't know if she will be able to. i might just have to paint them myself... i am SO not artistically talented... so... they might just be plain white or something boring like that. oh well. it will look better than the colour they are now. and they will match the house and stuff if they are white... so... no big.

i'll probably work on rhiannon's dress after that. maybe i can get it finished minus hem and zipper (which i don't actually have yet...). i was debating between a zipper and buttons... but... i made the bodice up (i tried the pattern and it looked AWFUL), and i can't quite wrap my head around an easy way to do a bracket and buttons and all that jazz because it has to overlap... plus, as my mom pointed out, there is less of a chance of a zipper coming undone at an inopportune moment - we don't need any wardrobe malfunctions at the wedding.

tomorrow is work all morning, and then meeting with the cake lady in the afternoon. i hope she isn't going to charge a small fortune for a cake... i realize they are expensive... but... it IS just a cake.

someone gave me a tip (slightly too late...) for making a dress for someone and having it fit (or i suppose even for myself...). duct tape dress form. GENIUS! i can't believe i have never heard of this before. basically you wrap yourself with a couple rolls of duct tape, and it can go from your shoulders and collar bone all the way down over your butt and your thighs. and you just cut it off up the back (probably smart to put a layer of paper under the tape so it doesn't actually stick to you) and then you stick it back together, and stuff it with news paper. take measurements and measure the dressform to make sure it stayed the right dimensions... and VOILA.... let me tell you... a couple of rolls of duct tape and some news paper are MUCH cheaper than a dress form.

i should have done that. kinda late now... but that would have made me much less nervous about not having them here to make alterations and make sure the dresses fit. agh.

anyway... i should actually do some work. that's where the progress is at...

i follow rivers.

okay sooooo... life has become one very busy blur. and also incredibly expensive with things we HAVE to pay for.

i met a woman at the farmer's market who is a german pastry chef... i am in the process of getting in touch with her for our cake and hopefully some tastings. i am sort of anti fondant icing, but it looks so nice and clean and all that... but... it just doesn't taste all that great. in fact, the fondant icing i have had has tasted AWFUL. but the farmer's market woman said that i have probably only had fondant icing from a bucket... and she makes it from scratch and it tastes good. so i am willing to give it another shot and see how it goes.

i have one month left, as of today. tyler and i are meeting after he is done work to go and pick up our marriage license. we have to get white tarps and a kind of fabric to drape inside the tarps to make it look fancy for the back yard. our rental stuff is all set up. tyler and i both have shoes. the rings are paid for. i have a hair style picked, and someone to do it. dessy's plane ticket has been purchased. annnddd... time off has been booked.

there are so many things that need to be arranged and organized and sorted out. i don't even know what they are. or how to organize them. or arrange them. or sort them. i THINK we almost have the dinner stuff organized. we are going to talk about the mc stuff next week with the one mc that lives in vernon. i am soooo glad i don't actually have to worry about the food. i DO need to get some stuff for gabriel (he is our ring bearer) and i need to figure out what is going on with the flowers... we haven't heard back from tyler's grandma... and so we might be doing them ourselves. but... i don't think it would be that hard to go to the farmer's market and just get a bunch of flowers in the colours i want and just put them together for the bouquets.

annnnyway... that's about all that is going on in my brain. and right now i should be SEWING... so... i am going to go do that.

and the countdown is ON!

my mom has been counting for like the last month. but i feel like i am actually approaching crunch time. and my life has becoming one solid block of booked times. so much work. more work. more work. yard work. sewing work. commitments. its ridiculous.

like today... i am working 9 hours straight at the station in kelowna, followed by jelena's birthday party (for which bozenka is making one of the menu choices for our wedding as the dinner... so we can try everything!), which we have to leave early because i am going to the ballet with my dance students.

tomorrow, i work my regular shift in vernon from 5:30 am to noon. go straight from there to my mom's to work on our patio (which was started on friday... bricks have officially been laid as of today...). i'll probably stay there for the majority of the day working on different yard things (once we run out of brick). i imagine i will be exhausted after all that... but if i can make myself do it, i will work on some sewing before going to bed.

monday will look like this: vote (AND I HOPE ALL OF YOU ARE DOING THAT TOO... VOTE GREEN!!!!), voice track in kelowna, work all day in vernon starting at about 2 going straight through till about 9:30 pm (hockey game and election coverage).

tuesday will be trip to kelowna to voice track some more (i'm voice tracked here in kelowna all week...), meeting in vernon at kiss, and i have designated tuesdays as my sewing days. so i need to make myself work very hard for the remainder of the day on my sewing.

you get the picture... i also need to add in a couple more hockey games through the week, some window washing, more sewing, more voice tracking... and who knows how many other things. friday is a particularly good day... i am operating IN KELOWNA starting at 5:30 am - that means i have to get up by at least 4 am to get here on time... and then i leave kelowna at 9 to make it back to vernon to be a celebrity caddy for a golf fundraising tournament.

... i can't wait for july.

true colours.

if you think cyndi lauper... you are completely correct. haha. i'm at work... once again. today we are having a bonfire/work party at my mom's to get some yardwork. i THINK we are going to have a pretty good turn out - although i have thought this before and then had 2 people come and everyone else bail at the last minute. i have had some last minute bailing happen this morning too... but... i still think we will get some good helpers out for a while. and probably more people coming in the evening just for the bonfire. whatever. it will be fun. jen and i planned to go for a run in kal park yesterday afternoon... planned is the key word. we went. but i had some killer cramps and it was killing me to try and run... so we mostly just hiked and did some lunges, and a little bit of running. i still worked up a sweat. and we went for a solid 45 minutes or so. i wouldn't say it was a completely lost cause. and above all, we enjoyed the afternoon (even with a little bit of sunshine) and had some good talks. i like hanging out with jen. we have gotten to be pretty good friends lately. its nice to have someone with similar career goals to hang out with. she gets what i am trying to do with my job. and we support each other and help each other out. its a nice relationship to have. jb, if you read this, i appreciate you and the things you contribute to my days. thanks. the days are quickly counting down. it is scaring me just a little.... or... a lot. i don't know if my mom has yet heard back from a lot of you about where you are wanting to stay when you come down here for the wedding. she had talked about booking group camping... and laura... i have yet to receive your rsvp. COME ON! haha. I NEED IT!... if you lost it, send me a piece of paper with what menu choice you would like. thanks! i haven't been working on the dresses as much as i should be. i will need to get my butt in gear over the next week or so. i feel confident that it won't take me very long once i hunker down... at least judging on how it has gone so far. my latest mission is finding andrew some nice slim legged dress pants with like... at least a 36" inseam. do these even exist? anyone have any suggestions where i might be able to find them? i will have to make another quick overnighter trip to vancouver sometime in the next week or so to measure jasmine and megan... so... going to vancouver is a possibility. things have gotten busy in basically every aspect of my life. tyler and i have been making an effort to actually do things instead of just hanging out at home doing NOTHING all the time. I have starting doing some windows for my parents. AND i have been doing some extra shifts in kelowna for operating and things. i am really liking working in kelowna. i am getting to know more people in those offices and i feel a little less awkward when i am there during regular hours. i don't mind my saturday shift there because... well... i am almost the only person there. i like that. haha. i don't have to talk to anyone or see anyone. i recently was asked if i would host a new friday night show there. it will be recorded, and i can do it from vernon so i don't have to drive down to kelowna another day every week. i'm pretty excited about it. its a great opportunity. plus, it means that i have been doing something right with the work that i have been already doing there. the music and the programming for the show isn't exactly something that i enjoy, and i think this show will be a bit of a challenge for me to do the way that they are wanting it... but... i am up for the challenge. the thought process behind it is that i am a young person, and what are young people gearing up for on a friday night... well... i am not your typical 25 year old, in my opinion. i am not into going to the bar or "partying". and listening to a remixed mix of music is not my idea of a good friday night soundtrack. that is actually the exact reason i really dislike going to the bar at all. but like i said... i will find a way to put my own spin on things and i am up for this challenge. its a part of the job. and being able to relate to an audience that i mostly consider to be very much unlike myself is what being good at this job means. and... here is a song i will leave you with.

the pack ad.

i was talking to the music guy at one of the stations in kelowna while i was operating for his show. i told him about this band when we were talking about music... and then i looked up some videos... and... well they were kinda cool so i thought i would share with any of you who might be interested in watching them....





hope you enjoy!

roller derby queen.

i'm not really a roller derby queen. you all know that. but i can dress up and be the roller derby mc queen, right? i got to do that last night. i had a whole bunch of really good one liners... with names like 'hurrican hannah' how can you not? and dixie drift... its just too easy! it has been some pretty crazy weeks. i think it will slow down a bit after this one... but not a lot. things just keep piling up and need doing. and there are more and more things that need my attention these days. i am leaving tomorrow to take jasmine a mattress as she is currently bedless. i am excited to be in vancouver, even if it will be very quick and a little rushed. i have also been requested to drop off a turkey for doug and delanie. and jasmine has requested the presence of my bicycle so we can go for a ride - which i will gladly comply with! i can't wait to go for a cycle with jasmine. seawall? yes please! also, megan gets back the day i will be leaving vancouver and i have my fingers crossed for a quick hug and a chance to take her measurements (she still hasn't had them taken for me... because well... megan can be flakey like that, but i love her for it). tap classes start this week too. i am REALLY excited for this. after all our attempts to try and make the class a minimum of 4... it is only 3 students (one of which is rhiannon...). but i don't really care. it is going to be a lot of fun. and i look forward to the 3 students i will have. teaching dance classes has been a nice experience for me. the girls are so sweet. and i like helping them succeed and its always rewarding to see how proud of themselves they are when they finally get a step after working very hard. it is interesting to me to watch the dynamics of the girls in the class too. i try to make my mark and help boost their confidence and self esteem in the hour a week i spend with them. it is great to see how they come out of their shells a little more each week. i look forward to teaching more dance classes in the fall. my earrings have been FLYING out. hah. that was a bad joke. but seriously... the last batch of photos i put up, were all sold but 2 less than 24 hours later. and there are people who would like to meet up this week and take a look at what i have. i had a bit of a panic and started frantically making more that same day, but i haven't been able to get brodie to photograph them for me yet. its pretty cool. i have been getting a lot of really nice compliments. i like making them. i like making pretty things. and it is even better when people like them, and there seems to be a demand. i have also ordered a bunch more feathers, and i am waiting (not all that patiently) for them to arrive. sarah, i hope to get yours in the mail this week. send me an email or a facebook message with your address!!! if anyone else wants some... let me know... i'll get those in the mail too! weekends are always so busy. i feel like i work straight through the entire weekend. all i do is sleep and work. yesterday in kelowna, quick stop at home before going out to mc the roller derby game, and then first thing this morning in the kiss fm studio. i love my job. and i like being busy... but sometimes its crazy. i don't like feeling like i never leave. ya know?

the adventures of an ipod called dryn.

as most of you probably know, my ipod might just be my most prized posession. i love it. it was the first expensive thing i ever splurged and bought for myself. i bought myself an ipod originally when justin and i split up, and i thought i deserved to have something to keep all my music on and enjoy it with. the original on was a 30 gig. i managed to almost fill it. i took it EVERYWHERE with me. it made countless greyhound trips to and from vancouver bareable. it made riding the bus around the city enjoyable. and i started to make playlists to act as soundtracks to my life. music has always been a big part of my life, and i felt like having an ipod allowed me to indulge in that love of mine. we were inseparable, me and my ipod dryn (which is a nickname trystan and rob gave me because that is what comes up when trying to type eryn on a cell phone with t9).

when i moved to calgary, said ipod, dryn the 1st died. i was so sad. i wasn't sure about the warranty and didn't have a receipt still for it. i panicked a little not having any music and no computer and i didn't even know how i would start a music collection on a new ipod even if i bought one. LUCKILY rob came into town the same week. i promptly purchased a new ipod. a better one. a 120 gig. this was a bigger better dryn. dryn 2.0. rob filled it with the music he had on his computer (which some of it is still on my ipod and is hilarious, i.e. aqua? ace of base?). i continued to collect music from various people and built up a beautiful library on my lovely spacious ipod. i continued to take it everywhere with me. long car rides. bus rides. it has supplied the music for derby games. countless parties. it has something for EVERYONE. i love that it has a huge amount of memory and i can have everything on it. my taste in music is vast and limitless, really.

so... all ths takes us to an event that took place on monday. i went to my mom's to do some yardwork. i brought zoe with me. i made sure to bring dryn along because i had forgotten on sunday when we did yardwork and had to make do with my mom's ipod (much smaller, but i have supplied much of the content... so its alright). we went to get some cardboard from one of the bins behind the polson mall first to line the pathways for the garden, so we could finish with the piles of leaves in the yard and dump them on top of the cardboard in the garden. i ended up reaching way in to get the big boxes my mom couldn't reach. we got a great load of cardboard and as we were just finishing the truck came to empty the bin. 'good timing!' was the sentiment from our party. in a moment of panic... i remembered that dryn had been in my pocket, and wasn't there any longer. i got a sick feeling in my stomach as i imagined dryn being squished in the cardboard truck.

when i said out loud that i thought my ipod had falled out in the bin, my mom promptly flagged down the driver of the truck before he took off. he told me to climb up the ladder on the side of the huge truck and we could take a look. he jumped right in with the cardboard and started looking around. i had a big pit forming in my stomach and it didn't look good. he said that the other thing we could do was he could take my name and number and he would look after the truck was emptied at the end of the day and see if he could find it for me. i was feeling a little hopeless, when all of a sudden... HE FOUND IT.

dryn was saved by a very nice man driving the giant cardboard truck. i was shaking i was so happy. i went from feeling sick with worry and regret ("oh why did i leave dryn in my pocket!") to he greatest feeling of relief.

and now dryn is home safe and sound and still in perfect working order.

THANK YOU CARDBOARD TRUCK DRIVING MAN!

chances.

i heard jill barber a while ago... but just one song. trystan put her on a mix cd. and i think it was a free single somewhere? but recently i downloaded her two albums for whatever reason... and this morning a song came up in shuffle... and i started listening to them. i love the old time sound. if you haven't heard her... check it out.




i lurked her videos for a cool one to share, and i liked that one... but then i found this one...




enough with the music videos...

i finished (well almost finished) my first bridesmaid dress. it still needs buttons and a hem. no biggie.




i don't know if anyone heard about the drama surrounding this dress. probably not. my mom came over to help me, and she was finishing the seams with the serger. and... well... part of the bodice got caught in the serger, resulting in a big hole. i had to take it all apart and redo that part (its the part between the halter and the skirt). but... all fixed now. and i think that it actually looks better the second time around. i also gathered the skirt better, because i figured out how to do it with my machine instead of by hand (quicker and neater).

today i will start on the second dress. it is all cut out and ready to go! that is my task for this afternoon. i'm excited. after these two dresses... i have to wait for the measurements of my other two bridesmaids. i'm hoping i can take megan's myself. and i am waiting for jasmine to stay the same weight for a while. i told her she is fired as maid of honour if she changes weight and the dress doesn't fit. haha.

i'm almost done the 'greatest loser' 8 week challenge. but i am going to continue going after it's over. i LOVE bootcamp. i wish you all lived here and you could try it. its amazing. i didn't think i was capable of doing a lot of the things i have accomplished. and it feels so good when you can tell that you have gotten stronger and you can do things that were so hard before. i love it.

anyway... i'll post some pictures of my progress on dress number two later tonight perhaps.

and oh yah... if you haven't already 'like' Lovely Bettie on facebook - i put up all the latest photos of earrings i have made! i'm really excited about it.

the rip.

i discovered this song this morning on a genius playlist. i quite like it. i felt like it needed to be shared. i hope you all enjoy it.

i have officially completed 5 weeks of bootcamp. i had to weigh in today. i get my results this evening. i hope i lost more body fat. so far... i am like 2 pounds heavier than when i started... but... physically i have noticed positive change. i want to keep going. i need to keep the motivation to keep going like this - at LEAST until june. i can't wait until all the snow is gone and i can ride my bike. i do miss riding. this song would be perfect for a grey day bike ride. it sort of soars. and you can soar along with it while biking, i think.

my plan for today... to mend a fabulous pair of jeans that i haven't worn in more than a year due to a huge hole in the crotch. i love these jeans. and they used to fit wonderfully. i need to have them in my wardrobe again. i am lacking good fitting comfortable jeans.

suzanne and i baked a bunch of cookies last night from her martha stewart cookies cookbook. one that we had high hopes for didn't turn out that well... it was a bit of a disappointment. but the other three recipes were particularly wonderful. my favourite, i think, was the hazelnut ones. they were also the most labour intensive. but... definitely worth it.

... i think it is time to stop wasting time... and start sewing. listen to the song. enjoy.

love day and adventures outside my comfort zone.

my valentines day was lovely. i don't typically do much for valentines day. i think it is a silly holiday. so commercial. a day that has turned into girls having ridiculous expectations of their relationships regardless of anything else. people spend so much money, and feel obliged to spend money on silly things. i like showing affection and receiving displays of affection on any old day out of the blue. it feels more special then. less expectations.

but i will admit... i LOVE getting flowers. and i have seldom received flowers in my life... from anyone. the first time i can remember receiving roses was from Layne! he came to visit when i was in grade 12 and came to see closing night of the musical i was in. he had a dozen roses for me after the show. i was really excited. the first year tyler and i were dating i told him i wanted to do nothing for valentines day because i thought it was silly. he had got me a gift... but casually surprised me with it a few days before (it was a journal, which i had told him i needed, covered in black raw silk - its beautiful, and i loved it). he also sent me flowers on valentines day. i loved them.

i decided this year i don't want to make a big deal about NOT doing anything for valentines day - because really... that's just as silly, isn't it? i made a joke to tyler about how i expected flowers and chocolates and dinner and a clean house. he got all panicked. i had to explain that really - i was kidding. i said i wanted to just hang out together and watch one of my favourite movies (but i wouldn't tell him which one it was). although tyler and i often hang out at home together in the evenings, we rarely actually spend time doing something TOGETHER. usually he plays video games with his friends online, and i waste time on the internet, or work on a sewing project, or do dishes or something else that needs doing. tyler came home from work with half a dozen roses, a small box of chocolates (considering my bootcamp diet, haha), a bottle of wine just in case i felt like having some, and groceries. i had to leave shortly later to voicetrack and go to bootcamp with jen (we couldn't go earlier because of her schedule).

when i came home he put together two beautifully plated salads. i love when he really puts effort in when creating meals. he worked in a kitchen when he lived in vancouver and he's really good at it. the salad was soooo good. we sat down with dinner and watched garden state. i LOVE that movie. and i think it is such a sweet quirky love story. it makes me smile, sometimes cry a little... and the end just makes me so happy. the soundtrack is AMAZING. the story is great. the cinematography is so clever. there are so many subtle things that i just LOVE about that movie - if you haven't seen it, watch it!!! after that we were both exhausted, and went to bed. it was a lovely evening.

now for the going out of my comfort zone part of this post... i went to kelowna today to meet with the program director at our sister station there. it was exciting and scary and made me sooo nervous. i start this weekend. i guess the guy just wanted to meet me first? makes sense... if you think about it. the staff there seems really cool. and things are run a little more like most stations (compared to this one... which is an oddball apparently). but it scares me. i haven't ever worked at any other station. the only reason i was able to do my job here is because i was patrick's little project.

i guess a part of me is worried that i don't know enough to do this at another station. i have worked here for like 5 years now? close to, anyway. i know how things work here. not just the equipment, but the people, the office. i understand it. i also have a safety network of sorts, i guess? if something goes wrong... i know what to do. its just... weird. it's a different city too. that has an effect on the job too.

the staff responded really positively to me. the guy who is going to train me on saturday (who also promptly added me to bbm so we could communicate easily and so he can let me in on saturday) told me they have been waiting for me. that they have no ego's. that it's a positive place and they help each other to produce the best broadcast possible. i like the sounds of that. and i like feeling like i am what they were looking for. before i even knew about it, their program director arranged for someone else to take my sunday shift here in vernon so i can do THEIR sunday morning shift in kelowna. i was like... oh... okay. haha. kelowna is a bigger market. and being at another station means more networking. i have a chance to put myself out there. if i do well, i can actually maybe make a name for myself in the industry.

i guess i'll find out this weekend! cross your fingers and think positive thoughts for me!

oh sunshine.

it is a beautiful morning here in the okanagan. the sun is shining. it's a lovely 6 degrees already. i want spring and summer to be here so badly. i crave it. i want it to be warm so i don't have to wear hoodies and jackets and boots. but i want a nice warm spring - not cold, cold, cold, and then scorching hot, which is what usually happens here (for those of you who have never experienced an okanagan season change - it is usually very abrupt).

i am not, however, ready for this spring/summer season in particular. i know you have heard about it to no end... but i have a lot of things to do for the wedding. i set myself a list for this week. it is attainable. it's hard when you feel like you have a thousand things to do, because honestly... where do you start? but i'm trying to break it down to just a few at a time and take care of things that way. how did i ever get myself into this mess? really?

tomorrow is the start of week 5 of bootcamp. i'm feeling good. i'm really glad that i decided to do this. the only thing i worry about now... is keeping it up. at LEAST until june. i think biking should be an absolute must this summer as much as possible. and it shouldn't be so intimidating either considering i am in far better shape than i was last spring - thanks to bootcamp. i also need to motivate myself to continue being controlled when it comes to my eating habits. and remembering to eat every 3 hours.

and on that note... suzanne and i have a baking date on wednesday. she got the martha stewarrt cookies cookbook. we picked like 5 recipes to make. i'm really excited about it. some of the cookies look absolutely delicious. i like baking with a partner. it's so much more efficient.

i'll take some photos to share.

speaking of baking... we did this thing at the station called 'dish of the day' and the on air staff took turns bringing something in. i made the vegan chocolate mousse in cupcake size. i also melted white chocolate and mixed some of the tofu with that. and then i layered the dark chocolate with the white chocolate and swirled them together. it was pretty fancy. and delicious. i also used pecans instead of the called for cashews - which didn't really make a difference, but i didn't have any cashews. try it out!

the flu and other maladies.

that's right. the flu. i got hit late monday afternoon with an awful feeling. i crawled into bed hoping to shake off the nauseous feeling. i texted jen and got her to voice track for me because i wasn't feeling good. i also informed her i wouldn't be going to bootcamp that evening (we had planned on going twice on monday because we went to the 5:30 am class and it was outside and it was just icy and snowy and we couldn't even really do most of it... so it sucked). i drifted in and out of sleep. i had waves of nausea. i thought it would pass. i HATE vomiting. i will just nurse it until it goes away - despite knowing that i would probably feel better if i just did it and got it over with and the feeling would go away. tyler came in to check on me, left, i rolled over and it HIT me.

i had a struggle with the blankets on the bed which slowed me down. i ended up vomiting EVERYWHERE. all over our bathroom. all over myself. all over the toilet. it was awful. the worst. but the best part... was that tyler was there immediately rubbing my back, and as soon as i was finished and got in the shower he was cleaning up the whole mess. he cleaned everything up without even saying anything about it. which is more than i can say that i could do. vomit is one thing i just can't deal with.

so... two cheers for tyler.

i sipped water and hung out for the rest of the night on the couch, decided to sleep on the couch so i wouldn't get uncomfortably hot sleeping in the bed with tyler the human heater. i woke up somewhere around 3 am and felt fine... and moved to the bed. woke up tuesday morning feeling pretty good. i played it chill all day - tv marathon. had some soup and an apple... tummy felt okay. so i decided to do bootcamp tuesday evening. i did a spin class (jen came too) and all went well. so that was a good thing.

we tried the 5:30 am bootcamp class again this morning because it was the only time that worked with jen's schedule. i don't like the 5:30 class. i never feel like i get as good of a work out. there are FAR too many people. and... let's face it... WHO likes working out at 5:30 am? i'm not even completely awake. maybe that's why i don't feel like i get that great of a work out... i can't push myself that early in the morning. it's so hard to eat breakfast before going too. i would have to get up at like 4 or 4:30 to be ready to eat and go and be awake... but i wouldn't be awake... because no one should have to get up that early. nevermind get up that early just to work out. 7 or 9 am are the perfect times for me. i'm up, awake, well rested, fed, and ready to go!

at the end of this week we will be halfway. which means that next wednesday we will have our second weigh in. i know i have now dropped 4 pounds (i also got KILLER cramps this morning, followed by my period). i'm not entirely sure if that is from being sick or not though (i'm hoping it isn't). i feel great though. i have gotten so much stronger since starting. my core is WAY stronger. i can do certain exercises that were painfully difficult before and i'm proud of myself for how far i have come in just 4 weeks. halfway! it has also been the push that i needed to improve my eating habits again. i really really needed that. i think when my mom starts doing bootcamp again in the spring, jen and i will join her and karen. its just way better than trying to maintain going to the gym by myself. and i just don't know HOW to give myself that good of a work out at the gym. i suppose... i have learned a lot of things from jane and kelly... but... lets be honest, i don't think anyone can push themselves that hard alone.

jazz classes are going well. this week will be week 3. i really like the group of kids i have. they're all very different, but i think we are going to have a lot of fun. i decided to try something different from how my mom runs her classes (which was sort of her idea) and choreograph a dance with them. but we're all going to choreograph it together - not just me tell them what to do. we're picking the music together and it should be a lot of fun!! i'm also VERY excited for tap to start - which will be the first week of march - yes, i officially have enough girls signed up.

and... wedding stuff. i have been working on suzanne's dress. i got all the alterations done to the top that i needed to do (quite easily, i might add) and i just need to finish the skirt. it is probably the biggest skirt i have ever seen. it's so full!! i also have to take my dress to a tailor's to get them to pin and mark it so i can send it back to dessy. i have been procrastinating on that one... i need to get on that. maybe i should make that my top priority for tomorrow. i also REALLY need to get on finding a marriage commissioner. like... now. on the plus side, i have talked to my friend austin (who is an apprentice stone mason) about the brick patio we want to put in and he assures me it will be easy peasy and he can do it in no time. he also said he is going to try and help us get our hands on some more brick (which is soooo expensive). i have had some pretty good offers for help with our spring yardwork and gardening that is coming that i am very appreciative for.

also... i need to sign people up for shifts for dj'ing. tyler and i will have a specific playlist that the songs can be chosen from... but we want to get some people to rotate and dj in shifts... if people are interested. anyone interested? let me know.

i wonder.

this song played on my show this morning... i really like it. i wanted to share it with all of you. if you're familiar with devendra banhart, this guy has a similar vocal quality. i also read his bio... and i respect what he is trying to do with his music.



in other news... lots of things have happened since the last time i wrote. i have been very busy. i have successfully completed 2 weeks of bootcamp. i'm not supposed to weigh myself until they weigh me (every two weeks) but the curiousity kills me and i had to check it out. i haven't actually lost any weight (in fact i have gained weight) but... i am physically slimmer than when i started. just a little bit. the woman who runs bootcamp has noticed, and i have, but i don't think it is enough for anyone else to notice. i feel pretty good about it though. and i also can feel myself getting stronger. i can do things that i never would have been able to do before. i'm also WAY LESS sore after work outs. and i have been doing really well with my eating as well. my cheat days usually just consist of a fancy coffee and maybe some other kind of snack i otherwise wouldn't be able to eat. i'm really proud of myself.

i taught my very first jazz class. it was fun. a little bit scary. and most of all... it was a learning experience for me. i think i will be better prepared for next week. it is a really cool group of kids (although rhiannon can be a little difficult and isn't afraid to talk back because it's me). I need to pick out some more music for next week. and nail down some definite warm up routines with corresponding music. i need a little more structure for the beginning of the class. a way that every class will start. i haven't had enough kids sign up for my tap classes... so they haven't started yet. i am hoping to get them started early march though. i got myself tap shoes and i have been practicing steps i found on videos on youtube. it's so fun. i love tap. i was trying to teach rhiannon the shirley temple... but she wouldn't even try. so i gave up. hopefully she is a little more willing to TRY when the actual class starts.

tyler and i rearranged our living room, which was actually a REALLY big project. we have such a huge couch. and the shelf thing that the tv is on is also quite large. and the computer desk is bigger than it needs to be. so basically... moving everything has made me decide it is time to invest in new furniture. well... not NOW obviously (money issues) but in the near future. i want some kind of small tv stand that has cupboards on it so everything is hidden behind doors (we have way too many game systems that tyler "needs" which produces far too many cords all hanging out and what we have now is an open shelf). i want a nice small computer desk that will fit in a corner beside the couch so it is more out of the way. the couch is a problem i will deal with... because its nice. although the cats have really done a number on one side... i need to get something to cover it up before it is even worse (not that it is salvageable at this point). i think i will have to try and get the fabric matched and then have that one panel recovered. i think that's possible? it should be.

i got the feathers i ordered finally and i have made some REALLY cool earrings. i would say the coolest yet. i'm really excited about it. i had to keep a pair... i am in love with them. i ordered a lot of reds and yellows this time. and i haven't been beading them like i did with the earlier ones. but i am wrapping the tops using wire instead of the pieces i bought from the bead store before. nothing against using those pieces... but the woman who was supposed to order them and call me when they came in hasn't called me? so i had to improvise. and i am really happy with how that turned out. the wire i am using also helps give them that little bit of weight they need to hang right and not fly off whenever there is any kind of breeze. so... i know i am supposed to send sarah a pair... anyone else want some? the only charge is telling everyone who asks about them where you got them.

i think that is everything for now... i'm going to tyler's sister's baby shower later today. it makes me a bit nervous. its just girls. although... tyler found out one of his uncles is going to be there, and so he is coming to hang out downstairs and watch the nhl all-star weekend (boring). it will be alright i'm sure...