phew... i just caught up on my blog reading! i still have some comments i need to make... but... time to write one myself, just so i don't leave work tonight and forget to do it.
things have been pretty busy around here. i really wish that the computer at home would let me blog - i have pictures from when madelaine, caleb, and gabriel were visiting that i would like to share. also, pictures from my camping trip last weekend. which was fun. although we couldn't have a campfire, there was a meteor shower. so tyler and i took our extra sleeping back and hiked up to the beach and watched the meteor shower for a while. talked about some things. it was nice to just take a moment and be just the two of us. i think i have gotten so used to it being just us, that when we spend prolonged periods of time with other people and don't have any of our space... it gets to be a bit much. it was nice to take those few moments and just chill out. tyler borrowed his parents kayaks and we paddled around the lake a bit - not very far, and none of us actually knew what we were doing in the kayaks. haha. but it was still fun.
i have been a bit bummed out lately. i feel like i have no friends. i don't do anything with anyone ever, and it is starting to bug me. my work schedule isn't convenient. but the people i have considered my closest friends have moved away, or just stopped trying. i feel like it has been months since i last talked to people. it depresses me. i have been trying to make an effort to hang out with new people and make new friends, but its so much harder. i don't know why. i have been trying to hang out with a girl from the fare for MONTHS now (like since before i quit, in december) and her and her boyfriend finally came over for dinner on tuesday. we had roasted veggie panini (so good!) and quinoa salad. and then we played settlers of catan. it was a really fun night. and it was cool for tyler to finally meet them and for us to all get together. i was glad.
but what is bugging me most... is that i have this group of friends that i consider very important and dear to me. my group of friends that i really cared about involving in my wedding in different ways so they were a part of that moment with me. and its like they have just all dropped off the planet (except jasmine, of course). one of which LIVES IN TOWN, and i can't remember the last time we hung out. perhaps the engagement party? which actually was months ago. granted, most of them live out of town. but hello... pick up the phone? maybe it is just too much for me to ask for this effort... but i would just like something, so i don't feel like i am on the bottom of everyone's priority list.
i guess i have been feeling this way about the wedding, in general. like... 'why do i have to invite this person again? they haven't even asked me to hang out in months.'
but that's just me complaining. sorry.
i'm really tired. and i don't think i have anything else to really write about. perhaps i will write again tomorrow... during my shift....
finally an eryn post. :) i don't understand why you can't blog at home. that must be frustrating. i want to see these pics.
ReplyDeletewasn't the meteor shower great? it comes every year around my mom, your grama's brithday. maybe while you and tyler were watching it by the lake, me and katie and sarah were watching it in the ocean. :)
yah obviously I totally understand your loneliness. It sucks! It IS hard making new friends. I've been trying to hang out with a girl who lives close by forever too, and it just never seems to work out.
ReplyDeleteI love it when I get to spend some time with Ben, just the two of us. Sometimes I'm so used to how we are together with Owen, I forget what we're like together just as a pair.
yah I wanna see those pics!