wounded.

i haven't kept things up to date. oops. i've been really really busy. BUT... now i am not really washing windows, and just working at the station and sewing. and... back to cooking dinners and stuff. i have to get back on track with the cooking. i have been so lazy/busy.

the biggest news from me is an accident i had thursday evening. i came home from work at 8. the office was on at 9. so i got started cooking some pasta because i hadn't had dinner yet and was SO HUNGRY. and while i was cooking, i decided to wash some of our dishes that were starting to pile up. by 8:30 we were on our way to the emergency. an awful thing took place. something that i had HEARD about happening, but had never happened to me. it had all happened before i even had time to compute what had taken place. my hand was gushing blood, all over the dirty dishes in the sink. a glass broke with my hand inside it, and i sliced open my knuckle on my first finger of my right hand. brutal. i yelled or screamed or something, and tyler came running into the kitchen... in an unfunctioning panic as is typical when i get hurt. i told him to get me something to cover it with, and he ran upstairs looking for some kind of cloth, and came down to the kitchen, soaked it... meantime i grabbed a clean dish cloth out of the drawer across from the sink. is it normal to put a WET cloth on a cut gushing blood? i thought that was weird...

we rushed to the hospital. luckily once we filled out all the stuff, they took us right in. i was light headed, and crying. when tyler broke my nose... i didn't cry the whole time... my eyes watered because it was my nose... but... i didn't cry. this time i cried a lot. it hurt so bad. and i was terrified. the nurse at the desk when we were getting checked in or whatever was not very nice. she asked me when my last tetanus shot was. i told her i had never had one, and she looked at me like i was retarded. she said "you would have had one in high school in grade 9." and i said "no, i didn't." and she said, "you didn't go to school?" and i said "no, my mom just didn't want me to get shots." she said, "well how do you feel about shots now?" in a mean voice, implying i was an idiot. once we were taken back to a bed, a male nurse came over and cleaned my hand, which stung like NO ONE'S BUSINESS. it felt awful. and i knew that would happen and that it would kill. i cried more. he was really nice though. he gave me shots to freeze my hand. those hurt really bad too. i was crying the entire time. it was like the shots they gave me at the dentist when i had to get a tooth pulled once, but way worse. i guess it makes sense considering how senstive hands are. they are so boney and so many nerve endings.

after that we waited... it was all set up for me to get my stitches... but i guess a girl had come into trauma and all of a sudden, the doctor was nowhere to be seen, and the nurses who were actually doing things for patients were all gone. just the paperwork nurses. we waited for 2 and a half hours. from what i overheard, i know a girl died, and i think it was from a drug overdose. tyler talked to a nurse and told her how long we had been there, and asked when someone would come give me my stitches (even though i told him to just chill out and wait) and she had kind of a snarky response saying well, someone is dying, and considering what is going on you haven't really been waiting very long. he learned his lesson. but tyler gets very protective when i am hurt and mad when no one does anything. i was patient. that is, until i had to pee so bad i couldn't possibly hold it any longer. my hand was sitting on a piece of that absorbent stuff with some gauze and whatever... but basically sitting in a puddle of my own blood. tyler managed to flag down a nurse who was very nice and cleaned me off a bit so i could go pee without leaving bloody handprints on things. it was one of those pees that feels SO GOOD because your bladder was soooo full.

i went back, and continued to wait. at about 11:30 finally the commotion in trauma was over, and the doctor came back. i told him i was scared that the freezing would have worn off some and i would feel it. it was supposed to be frozen for 8 hours. sure enough, when he started doing whatever he was doing (i couldn't look at my hand without getting woozy feeling) i felt sharp pains, which he told me i shouldn't feel. so i had to get shots to freeze it again. he told me just by quickly looking at it he was pretty sure i had knicked my tendon. he said he would have to put me in a splint and i would have to come back the next morning to follow up with plastic surgery. PLASTIC SURGERY?! was what ran through my mind. all from a fated dish washing experience. haha. when he returned about 20 minutes later and more thoroughly checked out my mobility of my finger, he said he would stitch my tendon, one or 2 stitches, but i had really good mobility and wouldn't need the splint or a follow up. i was so relieved. he told me there are two tendons in the finger, one that is the main one that you see when you flex your finger, and another one that goes diagonally. i knicked the smaller diagonal one - so... i was really lucky, basically. he stitched it all up, the whole time without me looking. i wouldn't even let tyler take a picture at any point because i didn't want to see it. he told me i had to get a tetanus shot, and he was going to prescribe antibiotics.

then two nurses came over and discussed how they were going to wrap it up for what felt like forever (was probably actually about 15 minutes - still far too long to discuss dressing a wound). they did a really awful job of cleaning it, and wrapped it up and gave me the shot (which bruise my arm and made it sore to move... agh) and gave me the first dose of the antibiotics and we were sent on our way.

i still hadn't eaten dinner and my stomach had been grumbling and eat itself for almost the entire time we were at the hospital. it was now midnight. we went to denny's and i had pancakes and hashbrowns and eggs. and tyler had some other kind of gross denny's food. by 12:30 we were at home in bed (poor tyler had to get up at 6:30 and go to work later that morning).

by 7:30 ish the next morning i was awake and unable to fall back asleep. the freezing had worn off, and my poor hand was SO SORE. i couldn't shower for 2 days, it is REALLY hard to style ones hair without the full use of your second hand (and all the pain too...). it was just a not very good day.

as of this morning... it doesn't hurt so bad, but i still think it looks so gross. the doctor had said there was a chance that the skin flap over the cut would turn black and fall off... in which case i'll have to get a skin graph (GROSS!). that idea really freaks me out. as of right now... the skin flap is dark coloured... but tyler says it is the blood clotting underneath. i hope that he's right, but am scared he isn't.

in better news, i made friends with the girl who moved in next door. we have a ton of mutual friends, and had been introduced before but never talked other than that (which was several years ago). her name is jordi. i really like her. and it's so nice to have someone right next door to hang out with. it's almost like having a roommate, but you don't have to share living space or mess or dishes! she has a baby, oliver, who is really cute. and super chill. he just hangs out and is quiet most of the time. her boyfriend, who also lives with her but i haven't met, works up north and isn't there a lot of the time... so... i keep her company and she keeps me company. she is going to help me cut out all my patterns and work on the invitations.

... more on the status of other things later... i'm at work, and time to get back to work!