i have been trying to figure out exactly what i would like my blog to be called. and what exactly it should encompass. my mom said i should practice and have a bunch of entries just already written up. i think that's a good idea. she is really trying to push me towards writing about music. but... you know... i don't really feel all that qualified to write about music. i am not a musician. i don't play any instruments. i have never written anything. but... i am a very dedicated and devoted LISTENER of music. haha. does that count for anything? i just don't know that it counts for enough.
i read this article yesterday that got me really excited and got my brain going for a summer project. my friend in montreal has a daughter who attended this camp last year (they quoted her, ava hosson) and will be going back this year. the idea for the camp is just amazing. i always feel a twinge of jealousy when i see programs like this for kids these days - especially girls, because there was NOTHING even remotely like it when i was a kid. i think i would have benefited from it.i have never wanted anything, and i mean anything, more than to be in a band. if my job could be music (and not just playing mediocre to bad music by other people over the airwaves) it would be amazing. although, i will admit that watching the voice this season jealous has crept up on me over this one girl's voice. juliet simms. i WISH i had her rasp and raw rock and roll persona. and she is just KILLING it in that competition. i love her songs, but... at the same time i just get so depressed and overcome with jealousy. i wish that was me. i don't know how to make that me.i don't actually think my voice is special. i have one of those other voices that were eliminated earlier (or didn't even make it on the show) that is good... but... nothing special or different.
and i know... my mother will argue otherwise. but mom... you're my mother. you think everything about me is special and amazing. its just a part of the job description.
again jealousy crept in on me this morning when i was reading my friend's blog. he and his girlfriend (also a friend of mine) are travelling right now an 'around the world' trip. they started in africa. and they have been all over china. and thailand. and i am not really sure where they are going next... but they have several more months before they come home. i feel like i am wasting my life sometimes here in the okanagan. living where i have always lived. doing the things that i have always done. essentially... nothing all that interesting. working and trying to make enough money and get ahead... but never really ever seeming to get anywhere with it? increasingly hating my employment situation more and more. it just gets to be less and less fulfilling and more and more frustrating.
i need to be self employed. i need to get the blog thing going already.
anyway... i want to try and get enough people together to make a girls rock camp in the okanagan this summer. i would try and do it the beginning of august. i have asked amy if she would be interested in doing it with me (teaching piano). she doesn't think she is qualified or skilled enough (everyone should help convince her otherwise - haha). and it would be an awesome way to have her come visit for a while this summer AND make some money at the same time. and i really think it would be fulfilling to help empower young girls with music and encourage them to explore their own creativity with it.
i know i would have appreciated that kind of thing when i was young. from anyone OTHER than my mother...
maybe its just a downer day at work. or i just have some issues to deal with. i just want change really badly. i feel in a rut.
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noticing you're in a rut is the beginning place of exciting things!
ReplyDeletereading about how you feel about your voice, I wondered if you've ever heard of the per bristow voice method. I have a program of his...I really like it, it's cheesy but effective so far...so far it's been all about relaxing your throat area (there's diff exercises) and disengaging all the compensatory muscles around your vocal chords while strengthening your vocal chords. I haven't finished it yet, but he DOES promise that you'll find your unique "sound" even if you've been singing for a long time. He mentions teaching you how to sound rocky and edgy too...let me know if you'd like to try it out after I'm done! I can let you know how it worked for me. I know you're in NO need of voice lessons, but it might be worth giving a chance...
and about the rock camp! I am actually very excited about that possibility...I really want to be able to do it. I even looked up power chords and how to teach piano yesterday, so I'd have an idea of the basics. I think the only thing that would be stopping me would be whether or not I'd be able to get away at that time. I have to think about it some more..