the rip.

i discovered this song this morning on a genius playlist. i quite like it. i felt like it needed to be shared. i hope you all enjoy it.

i have officially completed 5 weeks of bootcamp. i had to weigh in today. i get my results this evening. i hope i lost more body fat. so far... i am like 2 pounds heavier than when i started... but... physically i have noticed positive change. i want to keep going. i need to keep the motivation to keep going like this - at LEAST until june. i can't wait until all the snow is gone and i can ride my bike. i do miss riding. this song would be perfect for a grey day bike ride. it sort of soars. and you can soar along with it while biking, i think.

my plan for today... to mend a fabulous pair of jeans that i haven't worn in more than a year due to a huge hole in the crotch. i love these jeans. and they used to fit wonderfully. i need to have them in my wardrobe again. i am lacking good fitting comfortable jeans.

suzanne and i baked a bunch of cookies last night from her martha stewart cookies cookbook. one that we had high hopes for didn't turn out that well... it was a bit of a disappointment. but the other three recipes were particularly wonderful. my favourite, i think, was the hazelnut ones. they were also the most labour intensive. but... definitely worth it.

... i think it is time to stop wasting time... and start sewing. listen to the song. enjoy.

love day and adventures outside my comfort zone.

my valentines day was lovely. i don't typically do much for valentines day. i think it is a silly holiday. so commercial. a day that has turned into girls having ridiculous expectations of their relationships regardless of anything else. people spend so much money, and feel obliged to spend money on silly things. i like showing affection and receiving displays of affection on any old day out of the blue. it feels more special then. less expectations.

but i will admit... i LOVE getting flowers. and i have seldom received flowers in my life... from anyone. the first time i can remember receiving roses was from Layne! he came to visit when i was in grade 12 and came to see closing night of the musical i was in. he had a dozen roses for me after the show. i was really excited. the first year tyler and i were dating i told him i wanted to do nothing for valentines day because i thought it was silly. he had got me a gift... but casually surprised me with it a few days before (it was a journal, which i had told him i needed, covered in black raw silk - its beautiful, and i loved it). he also sent me flowers on valentines day. i loved them.

i decided this year i don't want to make a big deal about NOT doing anything for valentines day - because really... that's just as silly, isn't it? i made a joke to tyler about how i expected flowers and chocolates and dinner and a clean house. he got all panicked. i had to explain that really - i was kidding. i said i wanted to just hang out together and watch one of my favourite movies (but i wouldn't tell him which one it was). although tyler and i often hang out at home together in the evenings, we rarely actually spend time doing something TOGETHER. usually he plays video games with his friends online, and i waste time on the internet, or work on a sewing project, or do dishes or something else that needs doing. tyler came home from work with half a dozen roses, a small box of chocolates (considering my bootcamp diet, haha), a bottle of wine just in case i felt like having some, and groceries. i had to leave shortly later to voicetrack and go to bootcamp with jen (we couldn't go earlier because of her schedule).

when i came home he put together two beautifully plated salads. i love when he really puts effort in when creating meals. he worked in a kitchen when he lived in vancouver and he's really good at it. the salad was soooo good. we sat down with dinner and watched garden state. i LOVE that movie. and i think it is such a sweet quirky love story. it makes me smile, sometimes cry a little... and the end just makes me so happy. the soundtrack is AMAZING. the story is great. the cinematography is so clever. there are so many subtle things that i just LOVE about that movie - if you haven't seen it, watch it!!! after that we were both exhausted, and went to bed. it was a lovely evening.

now for the going out of my comfort zone part of this post... i went to kelowna today to meet with the program director at our sister station there. it was exciting and scary and made me sooo nervous. i start this weekend. i guess the guy just wanted to meet me first? makes sense... if you think about it. the staff there seems really cool. and things are run a little more like most stations (compared to this one... which is an oddball apparently). but it scares me. i haven't ever worked at any other station. the only reason i was able to do my job here is because i was patrick's little project.

i guess a part of me is worried that i don't know enough to do this at another station. i have worked here for like 5 years now? close to, anyway. i know how things work here. not just the equipment, but the people, the office. i understand it. i also have a safety network of sorts, i guess? if something goes wrong... i know what to do. its just... weird. it's a different city too. that has an effect on the job too.

the staff responded really positively to me. the guy who is going to train me on saturday (who also promptly added me to bbm so we could communicate easily and so he can let me in on saturday) told me they have been waiting for me. that they have no ego's. that it's a positive place and they help each other to produce the best broadcast possible. i like the sounds of that. and i like feeling like i am what they were looking for. before i even knew about it, their program director arranged for someone else to take my sunday shift here in vernon so i can do THEIR sunday morning shift in kelowna. i was like... oh... okay. haha. kelowna is a bigger market. and being at another station means more networking. i have a chance to put myself out there. if i do well, i can actually maybe make a name for myself in the industry.

i guess i'll find out this weekend! cross your fingers and think positive thoughts for me!

oh sunshine.

it is a beautiful morning here in the okanagan. the sun is shining. it's a lovely 6 degrees already. i want spring and summer to be here so badly. i crave it. i want it to be warm so i don't have to wear hoodies and jackets and boots. but i want a nice warm spring - not cold, cold, cold, and then scorching hot, which is what usually happens here (for those of you who have never experienced an okanagan season change - it is usually very abrupt).

i am not, however, ready for this spring/summer season in particular. i know you have heard about it to no end... but i have a lot of things to do for the wedding. i set myself a list for this week. it is attainable. it's hard when you feel like you have a thousand things to do, because honestly... where do you start? but i'm trying to break it down to just a few at a time and take care of things that way. how did i ever get myself into this mess? really?

tomorrow is the start of week 5 of bootcamp. i'm feeling good. i'm really glad that i decided to do this. the only thing i worry about now... is keeping it up. at LEAST until june. i think biking should be an absolute must this summer as much as possible. and it shouldn't be so intimidating either considering i am in far better shape than i was last spring - thanks to bootcamp. i also need to motivate myself to continue being controlled when it comes to my eating habits. and remembering to eat every 3 hours.

and on that note... suzanne and i have a baking date on wednesday. she got the martha stewarrt cookies cookbook. we picked like 5 recipes to make. i'm really excited about it. some of the cookies look absolutely delicious. i like baking with a partner. it's so much more efficient.

i'll take some photos to share.

speaking of baking... we did this thing at the station called 'dish of the day' and the on air staff took turns bringing something in. i made the vegan chocolate mousse in cupcake size. i also melted white chocolate and mixed some of the tofu with that. and then i layered the dark chocolate with the white chocolate and swirled them together. it was pretty fancy. and delicious. i also used pecans instead of the called for cashews - which didn't really make a difference, but i didn't have any cashews. try it out!

the flu and other maladies.

that's right. the flu. i got hit late monday afternoon with an awful feeling. i crawled into bed hoping to shake off the nauseous feeling. i texted jen and got her to voice track for me because i wasn't feeling good. i also informed her i wouldn't be going to bootcamp that evening (we had planned on going twice on monday because we went to the 5:30 am class and it was outside and it was just icy and snowy and we couldn't even really do most of it... so it sucked). i drifted in and out of sleep. i had waves of nausea. i thought it would pass. i HATE vomiting. i will just nurse it until it goes away - despite knowing that i would probably feel better if i just did it and got it over with and the feeling would go away. tyler came in to check on me, left, i rolled over and it HIT me.

i had a struggle with the blankets on the bed which slowed me down. i ended up vomiting EVERYWHERE. all over our bathroom. all over myself. all over the toilet. it was awful. the worst. but the best part... was that tyler was there immediately rubbing my back, and as soon as i was finished and got in the shower he was cleaning up the whole mess. he cleaned everything up without even saying anything about it. which is more than i can say that i could do. vomit is one thing i just can't deal with.

so... two cheers for tyler.

i sipped water and hung out for the rest of the night on the couch, decided to sleep on the couch so i wouldn't get uncomfortably hot sleeping in the bed with tyler the human heater. i woke up somewhere around 3 am and felt fine... and moved to the bed. woke up tuesday morning feeling pretty good. i played it chill all day - tv marathon. had some soup and an apple... tummy felt okay. so i decided to do bootcamp tuesday evening. i did a spin class (jen came too) and all went well. so that was a good thing.

we tried the 5:30 am bootcamp class again this morning because it was the only time that worked with jen's schedule. i don't like the 5:30 class. i never feel like i get as good of a work out. there are FAR too many people. and... let's face it... WHO likes working out at 5:30 am? i'm not even completely awake. maybe that's why i don't feel like i get that great of a work out... i can't push myself that early in the morning. it's so hard to eat breakfast before going too. i would have to get up at like 4 or 4:30 to be ready to eat and go and be awake... but i wouldn't be awake... because no one should have to get up that early. nevermind get up that early just to work out. 7 or 9 am are the perfect times for me. i'm up, awake, well rested, fed, and ready to go!

at the end of this week we will be halfway. which means that next wednesday we will have our second weigh in. i know i have now dropped 4 pounds (i also got KILLER cramps this morning, followed by my period). i'm not entirely sure if that is from being sick or not though (i'm hoping it isn't). i feel great though. i have gotten so much stronger since starting. my core is WAY stronger. i can do certain exercises that were painfully difficult before and i'm proud of myself for how far i have come in just 4 weeks. halfway! it has also been the push that i needed to improve my eating habits again. i really really needed that. i think when my mom starts doing bootcamp again in the spring, jen and i will join her and karen. its just way better than trying to maintain going to the gym by myself. and i just don't know HOW to give myself that good of a work out at the gym. i suppose... i have learned a lot of things from jane and kelly... but... lets be honest, i don't think anyone can push themselves that hard alone.

jazz classes are going well. this week will be week 3. i really like the group of kids i have. they're all very different, but i think we are going to have a lot of fun. i decided to try something different from how my mom runs her classes (which was sort of her idea) and choreograph a dance with them. but we're all going to choreograph it together - not just me tell them what to do. we're picking the music together and it should be a lot of fun!! i'm also VERY excited for tap to start - which will be the first week of march - yes, i officially have enough girls signed up.

and... wedding stuff. i have been working on suzanne's dress. i got all the alterations done to the top that i needed to do (quite easily, i might add) and i just need to finish the skirt. it is probably the biggest skirt i have ever seen. it's so full!! i also have to take my dress to a tailor's to get them to pin and mark it so i can send it back to dessy. i have been procrastinating on that one... i need to get on that. maybe i should make that my top priority for tomorrow. i also REALLY need to get on finding a marriage commissioner. like... now. on the plus side, i have talked to my friend austin (who is an apprentice stone mason) about the brick patio we want to put in and he assures me it will be easy peasy and he can do it in no time. he also said he is going to try and help us get our hands on some more brick (which is soooo expensive). i have had some pretty good offers for help with our spring yardwork and gardening that is coming that i am very appreciative for.

also... i need to sign people up for shifts for dj'ing. tyler and i will have a specific playlist that the songs can be chosen from... but we want to get some people to rotate and dj in shifts... if people are interested. anyone interested? let me know.

i wonder.

this song played on my show this morning... i really like it. i wanted to share it with all of you. if you're familiar with devendra banhart, this guy has a similar vocal quality. i also read his bio... and i respect what he is trying to do with his music.



in other news... lots of things have happened since the last time i wrote. i have been very busy. i have successfully completed 2 weeks of bootcamp. i'm not supposed to weigh myself until they weigh me (every two weeks) but the curiousity kills me and i had to check it out. i haven't actually lost any weight (in fact i have gained weight) but... i am physically slimmer than when i started. just a little bit. the woman who runs bootcamp has noticed, and i have, but i don't think it is enough for anyone else to notice. i feel pretty good about it though. and i also can feel myself getting stronger. i can do things that i never would have been able to do before. i'm also WAY LESS sore after work outs. and i have been doing really well with my eating as well. my cheat days usually just consist of a fancy coffee and maybe some other kind of snack i otherwise wouldn't be able to eat. i'm really proud of myself.

i taught my very first jazz class. it was fun. a little bit scary. and most of all... it was a learning experience for me. i think i will be better prepared for next week. it is a really cool group of kids (although rhiannon can be a little difficult and isn't afraid to talk back because it's me). I need to pick out some more music for next week. and nail down some definite warm up routines with corresponding music. i need a little more structure for the beginning of the class. a way that every class will start. i haven't had enough kids sign up for my tap classes... so they haven't started yet. i am hoping to get them started early march though. i got myself tap shoes and i have been practicing steps i found on videos on youtube. it's so fun. i love tap. i was trying to teach rhiannon the shirley temple... but she wouldn't even try. so i gave up. hopefully she is a little more willing to TRY when the actual class starts.

tyler and i rearranged our living room, which was actually a REALLY big project. we have such a huge couch. and the shelf thing that the tv is on is also quite large. and the computer desk is bigger than it needs to be. so basically... moving everything has made me decide it is time to invest in new furniture. well... not NOW obviously (money issues) but in the near future. i want some kind of small tv stand that has cupboards on it so everything is hidden behind doors (we have way too many game systems that tyler "needs" which produces far too many cords all hanging out and what we have now is an open shelf). i want a nice small computer desk that will fit in a corner beside the couch so it is more out of the way. the couch is a problem i will deal with... because its nice. although the cats have really done a number on one side... i need to get something to cover it up before it is even worse (not that it is salvageable at this point). i think i will have to try and get the fabric matched and then have that one panel recovered. i think that's possible? it should be.

i got the feathers i ordered finally and i have made some REALLY cool earrings. i would say the coolest yet. i'm really excited about it. i had to keep a pair... i am in love with them. i ordered a lot of reds and yellows this time. and i haven't been beading them like i did with the earlier ones. but i am wrapping the tops using wire instead of the pieces i bought from the bead store before. nothing against using those pieces... but the woman who was supposed to order them and call me when they came in hasn't called me? so i had to improvise. and i am really happy with how that turned out. the wire i am using also helps give them that little bit of weight they need to hang right and not fly off whenever there is any kind of breeze. so... i know i am supposed to send sarah a pair... anyone else want some? the only charge is telling everyone who asks about them where you got them.

i think that is everything for now... i'm going to tyler's sister's baby shower later today. it makes me a bit nervous. its just girls. although... tyler found out one of his uncles is going to be there, and so he is coming to hang out downstairs and watch the nhl all-star weekend (boring). it will be alright i'm sure...

silver lining.

listening to a wonderful genius playlist this morning, ridden with rilo kiley. its pleasant.

so yesterday was my first day of bootcamp. it was a spin class. it was REALLY hard - but fun! and my butt really hurts today... not the muscles. just where the seat of the bike hurt. you know what i mean? its probably bruised... my legs are also kinda sore. not as bad as i thought they would be. i also found out what percentage of my body is fat... which... well i don't know what is normal. i know i must be somewhat high because my eat habits lately have been awful and i haven't been all that active, but i would still like to know what normal is.

the woman had a hell of a time trying to make me a meal plan because... well... being vegetarian and not liking tofu has its protein challenges. as it is, there are some things on there i'm not really keen on eating (like several different kinds of porridges). yuck. and i have to eat every 3 hours. which is weird... i have a tendency to get doing something when i am home by myself during the day and then i forget to eat. or going out and doing running around and just not eating for several hours because i am busy! it is going to be hard to keep track of that. i had a breakfast that is not on my approved list of meals - poached eggs on dry toast. it was grainy bread... and it tasted really good. haha. the info that i got says that all the food we're supposed to eat won't necessarily taste good, but think of it as fuel. i just can't justify eating something that doesn't taste good. what is the point?

i better get going and get ready for my meeting at the station this morning! and then jen and i are going to bootcamp together again! woo!

ps.

maxi priest... who are you and what makes you think you can disgrace cat stevens by doing the worst cover of wild world ever? agh. and WHY oh WHY am i playing it?