i don't understand how someone can find this interesting? unless your a parent of a kid on the team, and you can't make an out of town game, why would you listen to your local team's game on the radio? its so boring.
unfortunately, i HAVE to listen to it. infact, i get paid to listen to it. and press buttons, and then read the news (which is terrifying, as i found out about 15 mins ago). its lonely and boring, and i can't really do anything else too intensely, because if i am not paying close attention i will miss a cue to play a commercial or some other silly thing i'm supposed to do. plus... i'm not that good at this (this is the first time i have actually operated on my own... i'm a bit freaked out about the whole thing), and so its stressfull.
i wish i was anywhere but here currently.
i decided earlier this afternoon that i am actually pretty done with work. this relationship between employment and i has had a pretty good run. a solid 8 years. and i think i am ready to move on. maybe try something like retirement. tyler says soon. i just have to wait for him to make the big bucks. haha.
i think work is especially frustrating because for the most part i feel like i am working for nothing. i feel like i have been working since i was 15 and have nothing to show for myself. i'm not going to school. i have no career path. i am not bettering myself. i'm not even saving money. i'm just surviving. getting caught in the strong current that is bills, expenses, and never having enough time to do anything. most of the time i feel like it isn't even remotely worth it. i feel guilty when i spend money on myself, because i have a mountain of debt baring down on me (that is probably a bit of an exaggeration). it just sucks. living in this small town where i know the majority of people my age, it is embarrassing to have to admit that i am doing nothing important still. small talk. i dread it. "oh you're living here again. what have you been up to?". " oh you know. just hangin out. this is my 6th year not going back to school."
i might as well just respond, "yah, i'm a really big loser doing nothing of mention with myself and i don't imagine it will ever change. how about you?"
i'm trying to slow down a bit. taking as much as i can get from the radio station, hoping i can work one less day at the fare. i'm sick of customer service in a bad way. i'm sick of people treating me like my sole purpose is to serve them. i have news for all you upper middle class yuppies - NO ONE WAS PUT ON THIS EARTH JUST TO SERVE YOU.
..... i think thats it for my rant.
on another much happier note, my birthday is coming up! well... i have 15 days to go, but thats close enough for me to start the countdown.
i love my birthday. maybe its just the fact that i am allowed to demand attention and be the center of attention. haha. i just like feeling special, and that is an ultimate special day. i love it. i'm planning on having two parties. one big party at our house (it'll probably include lots of people, music, and hecticness), and one chill out night with some of my "older" friends and parents and such. i think i'm more excited for the chill night. it'll be my actual birthday, and will include a vegetarian potluck. i also like that i can demand it to be vegetarian - its my birthday! eff all you guys and your animal eating. its my day.
... hopefully i don't fall asleep listening to this silly game. hockey is a silly game altogether.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
you're so right! work ISN'T worth it. Just think about how much of your life is being sucked away, while you are making your employer rich and independent, and you're just living paycheck to paycheck- like you said, with no time to do the things that are important to you and make you happy. haha. I feel strongly on this subject. It's all about being self-employed! Or making passive money. Let's make a website together. :P
ReplyDeleteOh, also, I listened to you the other night! You have a rocking DJ voice. One can tell you're a hot DJ.
really? you listened? awesome. thank you! i've been getting a lot of compliments from people on my voice lately... but it isn't really my voice i'm so concerned with. its everything else that i constantly feel like i haven't mastered. "WHY AREN'T I AWESOME AT THIS AFTER THE FIRST TRY?!"... i have a bit of a problem.
ReplyDeletewhat kind of website? i'm down to be self employed. haha. having a boss is the worst.
Yes, well, since I was 19, I have only worked for an 'employer' for a total of 6 years. The rest of the time I have more or less worked for myself. So stop caring so much about what other people think. Who cares if you have not been 'back to school'? You have actually done a lot of other things. You have lived on your own and supported yourself. You have lived in several different cities. You have learned a lot about yourself which is far more important than anything you could learn in school. If you ever do go to school, you will go when you are ready and you are sure about what you want to study. What's the point in going before then?
ReplyDelete