christmas music? it isn't even december yet!

i arrived at the station tonight to have patrick tell me he had inserted several christmas songs into my time chunk because it had been forgotten or something... let me tell you... not stoked. the only thing i hate more than christmas, is christmas music.

well... not that classic christmas music can't feed the mood in certain situations when one is feeling festive. but i don't often get excited about christmas... the situation has to be JUST right. but it isn't even december yet. its NOVEMBER. and i have to sit in here for 5 hours and listen to these terrible pop versions of already cheesy christmas tunes. or what is even worse, original holiday tracks that ooze with cliches and ridiculous ideas of what the holidays are all about. i really do LOATHE christmas music.

although, i have been making an effort. tyler loves christmas. LOVES it. he says everyone is happy during the holidays and more cheerful (he clearly hasn't worked retail during the christmas season... happy is not the word i would use). i DID, however, help tyler decorate last night. he had TWO whole boxes full of decorations, including a little fake christmas tree. so there are lights everywhere, and a tree, and a few other things here and there. and i'll be honest... i don't totally hate it. it could be worse. yesterday i did my first remote for the radio station (it went really well!!!) and it was in the mall. tyler met me there after, helped me load all the equipment into the car, and then we went christmas shopping for a while. it was kinda fun. we wrapped the presents we got after decorating. and i will admit... i was a little excited.

and there is one thing that i am passionate about around this time of year. i like helping out someone in need. i think it is very important. i have been that kid and let me tell you - it sticks with you forever. its amazing. i think it is important for everyone to really look around them, and see what matters. it isn't THINGS (here is where my mom pipes up and says she has been telling me this for years, and that i am materialistic). every year, this year especially, there are so many people out there in need. people who can't afford to have a christmas feast and a tree and gifts, let alone a regular meal. there are families who are working and still can't afford to put food on the table. working in the local media this year, i feel like i can put that out there, and rally support for foodbanks and other charities. in winnipeg we used to find families who were less fortunate than us, and put together a hamper for them. my mom would find families with kids around my age (i was like 6 and 7) and i would get to pick them out things for christmas. it was fun. we also used to pick elderly people from our church who were alone and just didn't have family for the holidays... and my mom would put together a little basket of baking and goodies and we would put it on the doorstep, ring the doorbell, and run and hide leaving the basket for them to find. that was fun too.

i am currently trying to find a new job. i got really disappointed yesterday. the weirdest thing happened on wednesday. i got a call from a resume i dropped off almost a year ago. because of my work schedule i couldn't get in for a regular interview... so i left as soon as i got off the phone, and met the woman at the coffee shop close to my work. it was funny, neither of us knew what the other even looked like. i told her i had a big purple bag and she found me. we talked, and it seemed really really good. i was really excited because everything just sort of fell into my lap and seemed like it would just fall into place... but i got a call from her yesterday saying she couldn't hire me for the position because of my saturday commitment to kiss fm. i was super bummed. SUPER bummed. and going to work at the fare again this morning was heartbreaking. i sat in the car for like 10 mins when i got there, just fighting the urge to turn around and drive back home instead of going in. i was 5 minutes late as a result. it sucked. the whole day sucked. totally brutal. i HATE that job. loathe my time there. i'm ready to move on... like... a month ago. at least. but this stupid little town with little resources has almost nothing to offer me.

so thats how i am feeling... not excited, and stressed out about the holidays. frustrated and depressed with my job. and hopeless about finding a new one.